What people do not tell you!
In this blog I will talk about all the pregnancy symptoms that you can get from, the common ones to some more unusual ones. I will discuss how some people have smoother pregnancies, while others have difficult ones, mainly discussing the not so joyful moments of pregnancy not to mention what many pregnant people do not share.This is too highlight that yes while pregnancy is magical and exciting, that your growing this wonderful human. However it can also came with lots of unwanted changes, scares and uncomfortable body pains, aches. Pressure. Hormones changes, anxiety and just general unpleasant symptoms.
I am unsure why these things are not spoken about, maybe out of embarrassment or because once parenthood arrives and the baby is born all that love and tiredness over rides the memories of pregnancy. Those that have smooth, simple pregnancy with hardly any difficulties both mentally and psychically are more likely to talk about how easy they had it that leave those who did struggle left felling alone, then do not talk about their experiences which is not helpful.
If it was spoken about more then maybe people would be more aware when getting pregnant in the first place leading to more planned pregnancy with less unwanted children, as well as those who do find being pregnant a struggle will not feel alone, having people to talk to and being able to get help and support earlier when they are worried.
We experienced lots of difficulties in both pregnancy both mentally and Ben really suffered physical, which is why we decided to do this post. Ben will explain a lot of more how he felt and physically being pregnant (so he had to help a lot in this post, as I do not know what he is feeling day to day) all the same I can will explain about medically and emotional what we have been through.
Please do not take this blog that pregnancy if awful and if you have it easy your lucky, like that is that unfair in any way, because I am just trying to highlight that things can go wrong or some people do experience pregnancy differently from others. Therefore by talking about the rougher times of our journey, our experiences with loosing our son then more people would be willing to openly talk about their difficulties. Also to provide knowledge about certain thing that we were not aware of in our first pregnancy but since losing a child we then knew what to do in order to prevent this from happening. What we needed to look out for or get checked in this pregnancy. With many mental, and physical struggling in both pregnancies, having professionals and other people that had been though simpler experiences really helped us. To be able to ask them when we had worries or questions, to then learn and keep this baby safe thus making Ben as positive and comfortable as possible.
below are some of the common symptoms of pregnancy in each trimester and why these may happen. Many of the common feeling are sickness, dizziness, headaches, sore breast and tiredness are felt in the first and last trimester but can also affect people the whole pregnancy. They say that the second trimester is the best where symptoms settle and you get your energy back. This may be the case for most people but not what we and many others we know have experienced.
Morning sickness- vomiting
Morning sickness is a miss conception as many of those excepting will be nauseous mainly in the morning constantly feeling sick but do not actually experience vomiting or they get no sickness or nausea at all. Where as it is very common to have sickness all day long, and actually more so in the evenings. While some people many only experience sickness at the beginning, starting at week 6-8 then stopping between 12-16. On the other hand it is very common to have sickness and vomiting all the way through pregnancy. Just things to be mindful of is making sure that while being sick is harmless as long as you are keeping down fluids and some food, providing you and the baby the nutrition you need. Try eating small and often, pick on crackers, cereal, fruit. food that is dry and not fatty helps relieve sickness. Also making sure your drinking plenty of fluids. Try eating something before getting out of bed so have some ginger biscuits, bread sticks, cereal oat bars are great snacks to eat before getting up as they high fibre dry food to settle the stomach. If vomiting is over 6 times a day, that you are struggling to keep any food or fluids down then make sure you go get checked by professional. Anti sickness is used safety and commonly during pregnancy, as do whats best for you and the baby.
Ben struggled a lot from sickness. He felt sick from as early as 4 weeks pregnant one of the reason he actually took the pregnancy test early. He was sick several times a day every day from this early and way past 12 weeks. (when others said it is meant to stop). He still vomits even at 27 weeks however now it is a small amount mostly because of acid re flux and heartburn but is no where near as much as it was in the first trimester. We tried all the tricks but he could not keep anything down, just water occasionally. He lived on water, ginger biscuits, crackers and bread sticks for weeks, pretty much the whole first trimester. He was so sick that he was put on anti sickness. This however did not help at all, if anything it made him feel more sick. and made him dizzy and had blurry vision. they then gave him anti sickness patches instead at around 9 weeks, which helped a bit. As it settled so he stopped using them, so the sickness stopped then came a back after 16 weeks. He also had a lot of bad headaches at the beginning as well, so bad it made it hard to function, he did not like to take pain relief so we tried tips we got from others, like temple massages, ice, cold pressure on his head and back of his neck. To drink more, despite this nothing worked he was just sick or had a headache. even paracetamol when he finally took them did not help at all. they did settle on their own late into the second trimesters but he does suffer from migraines every now and then.
Tiredness.
Tiredness or exhaustion is another very common feeling in pregnancy, this is evidently going to happen at some point for everyone let alone when pregnant, as the body is working extra hard to keep you and the baby healthy. The heart has to pump extra blood around and organs also have the then work harder to keep up with the extra demanded. This is mostly in the first 12 weeks however pretty much all the way through, more so getting worse towards the end when the baby is bigger, your therefore carrying the extra weight and have aches and pains, along with distributed sleep. Tiredness can once more be because of all the hormone changed as well as lack of sleep. Lack of sleep can be caused by frequently needing the toilet, then as the baby starts to kick they like to keep you up all night and have a party at all hours to keep you awake. We say that they are preparing you for the regular feeds when they are born. Also just general aches, with discomfort when they grow can make it hard to sleep well, because of tossing and turning to find the right position that is not only comfy but safe to sleep when pregnant. laying on your back is not advised, it is safer to lay on your sides especially the left as it increases blood flow. Vivid dreams later on in the pregnancy can also cause disrupted sleep, resulting in tiredness. Even though tiredness is harmless to the baby and common it still not enjoyable being drained, having no energy so a few thing that can help are the same with most symptoms, making sure that you are drinking plenty of water, eating healthy and trying to rest when ever possible. Getting a pregnancy pillow can help at night to get in a comfy safe position on your left side, having a fan on or window open to prevent getting over heated. If you can stay active and exercise this can actually reduce tiredness in pregnancy but this is not always the case. Being extremely tired where you are sleeping all the time, if it is affecting day to day life, and concentration can be a sign of lack of iron therefore make sure you get bloods to check for anaemia.
Dizziness.
Dizziness is another feeling that is common, caused by hormones changing and also where your body relaxes. Blood rate rises to provided for you and the baby therefore can cause your blood presser to rise then fall, dizziness is then the result of this. Morning sickness can cause dizziness as again the body uses so much energy that your blood presser can drop and you feel dizzy. It is common throughout the whole pregnancy but does get worse towards the end because their is more pressure on your body and blood vessels. When the baby gets bigger they can cause shortness of breath where the uterus grows, thus causing dizziness. However alarming feeling dizzy can be and even causing vertigo it is very harmless in most cases. It is very common and usually just part of pregnancy, due to hormone changes, pressure on blood vessels, blood pressure dropping, vomiting, getting up to quickly or dehydration. so to prevent dizziness make sure you rest when needed and drink enough to keep hydrated. Make sure you are eating often and also not getting over heated. However dizziness that is sever can be a cause for concern so make sure that if being dizzy makes you faint, or is not relieved by eating regularly, drink enough or resting that it is checked. As it can be down to low iron (Anaemia) this is again very common and easily reduced by taking iron supplements. Which Ben got at the end of his pregnancy. it made him very dizzy and faint, to the point his blood pressure was very low and he needed to be with someone in case he fainted when getting up. Iron tablets did help elevate some of this.
Ben did get dizziness in the first trimester but mainly caused from the headaches and server vomiting, although he did get dizzy sometime when sitting up to quick and when he was hot. It was never a cause for concern for us. he then got a bit more dizzy in the second trimester due to hormone changes and the heatwaves we were having. but again by getting up slower, resting and drinking water this alleviated the dizziness. He has however been affected a lot by tiredness in both pregnancies. At the beginning with both he was working long hours, out the house from 6 am-7 pm, so he come home, to eat and sleep. Most of the weekend he was asleep. This was hard as he was exhausted and I hardly got to spend time with him. In this pregnancy with rainbow he started to cut his hours and he worked in the office, which gave him more time in doors to rest or spend time with me. Regardless he had to travel even further to work which really tired him out. Where he was so sick and suffered with headaches he slept a lot. Then as he got into the second trimester he did get a bit more energy back. His sickness settled which meant he was also eating more, the need to go toilet had also alleviated so he was sleeping through the night.
However once Ben had the surgery to place the stitch in and he was put on bed rest, that made him tired, he was sleeping on and off throughout the day which made it harder to sleep at night. therefore he was having short naps but not long well rested sleep that he needed. Also when baby started kicking she loved to wake him and keep him up for hours kicking all night. He got bigger and more uncomfortable hence making it even harder to sleep. this resulted in just being tired all the time. He was bored on bed rest and had no sleep pattern. This did effect my sleep as I was being woken up when he got up to go toilet, when he was tossing and turning to get comfy. I also have trouble sleeping too especially when anxious or nervous so this rainbow defiantly was preparing us for sleepless partner hood.
Sore breasts.
This is a common early symptom that in most cases is one of the first signs of pregnancy. However due to Ben being a trans man, thus having top surgery where the remove all the breast tissue and preform re constructing to give a male chest. He therefore can not really talk about this symptom, nor can I as it is not something we have experienced. However he has had pains in his chest, something he did experience before surgery as well as a small amount of swelling. This is something that we do not have much information on, This is because not much research has been done of trans male pregnancies, also those people we do know or that has been in the media generally have not had chest surgery. They commonly get pregnant before having hormones or come off hormones like Ben did yet they have not had surgery. This means Ben did not know if the sore chest and pains he has was normal or something to be worried about. He is a worrier for this reason we did go in to get it checked however even professionals are not familiar with trans male pregnancies, let alone those who have had surgery. Even profession who work in the gender clinics or do the surgery do not know either, since there is no research carried out. We took to online groups to seek other transgender people who have been pregnant after having chest surgery. Some got a few pains, other did not or only got swelling. while others even experienced lactation. This is because it depends on the surgeon who performed the surgery, on the grounds that some surgeons leave some breast tissue and milk ducts in tact while others do full removal and nipple graft therefore everything is taken away. It really is case by case which is the same for many symptoms as everyone is different, peoples bodies are different therefore people experiences different symptoms or the same symptoms differently.
Other symptoms that can present during all stages of pregnancy, some of which are very common others are uncommon. A lot of these are also things that people do not warn you about pregnancy. some people will get most of these while others experience all or none at all. No two bodies are the same meaning whatever you experience and how bad it is, these things are harmless. They are all apart of pregnancy and nothing to be ashamed about. They are mostly caused by hormonal changes but some are actually explainable, just wonderful mysteries of pregnancy. so here are the once I know of:
- aches and pains,
- round ligament stretching,
- mild period like cramps
- back aches,
- hot sweats
- general discomfort
- constipation or diarrhoea
- constantly toilet visits- need to wee.
- discharge
- colds or flu,
- food cravings or aversions,
- heartburn, acid re-flux or indigestion,
- leg cramps,
- swelling of feet and hands
- bleeding or sore gums - go to the dentist.
- shortness of breath
- mood swings
- heightened sense of smell
- changes in tastes - tasting metal
- vision changes - get eye sight checked.
- spots/ acne
- thicker hair or unwanted hair on body like tummy face ect...
- nosebleeds
- darkened skins, like brown patches.
- dry skin
- vivid dreams
- nesting and anxieties
- incontinence- peeing ones self.
- excitement
- natural glow- shiny skin
- increase or decrease in apatite
- weight gain
- bloating
- swollen hands, ankle, feet
- sore chest/breasts
- lower vaginal pressure or tingling
- braxton hicks
- and many more I am sure.
If you have had many of these know you are not alone. If there are any I have missed or that you have experienced please comment and share your experiences. Ben has been affected by most of these, unfortunately he seems to have got every pregnancy symptom possible. he talks below about what he has experienced throughout this pregnancy.
Ben is explaining himself here how he has been.
So I have had most if not all of these list above at some point. We have had many complications through both pregnancy and this one due to the previous loss as well as the anxieties that comes with that loss. At the beginning I had lots of sickness, so bad I could not keep nothing down. Only dry foods like crackers and bread sticks and water this got very boring. I was also horrible when I was travelling to work and people would stare because I had to get off the bus to be sick. Pregnant women is it acceptable but everyone assumed I was ill. I got food aversions to mostly everything mainly spaghetti or tomato based foods. chicken for a while as well caused me to vomit, even just the sight or smell of these foods. Craving i got a bit but more went on and off certain foods. One craving was chicken and bacon sandwich especially from Gregg's, sausage rolls too. Then the occasional craving for chocolate or something sugary.
I pretty much got every pregnancy symptoms going from sickness at the beginning and heartburn and intergestion at the end where it made my sickness worse again at the end. The dizzyness and low iron which made me really tired weak aand dizzy. I got bad headachs thought out the whole pregaancy then bad toothaches at the end. I also got the dry patchy skin, nose bleeds, constipation and general aches and pains. Especially with being on bed rest I got lots of back aches, and pains. I had bad painful braxton hicks from 27 as well. Towards the end I had a cold and sore throat pretty much right up until the last week. I also had constant urine infections and trust which is not fun, as had to use creams and be on antibiotics. Then obviously all. The general hot sweats, tirness, shortness of breath, swollen fingers which meant I had to take my rings off. Along with discharge, cramps,
I pretty much got every pregnancy symptoms going from sickness at the beginning and heartburn and intergestion at the end where it made my sickness worse again at the end. The dizzyness and low iron which made me really tired weak aand dizzy. I got bad headachs thought out the whole pregaancy then bad toothaches at the end. I also got the dry patchy skin, nose bleeds, constipation and general aches and pains. Especially with being on bed rest I got lots of back aches, and pains. I had bad painful braxton hicks from 27 as well. Towards the end I had a cold and sore throat pretty much right up until the last week. I also had constant urine infections and trust which is not fun, as had to use creams and be on antibiotics. Then obviously all. The general hot sweats, tirness, shortness of breath, swollen fingers which meant I had to take my rings off. Along with discharge, cramps,
Mood swings, vivid dreams. Well you name it I had it. I am obviously someone that does not do pregnancy easy and it has been a long old 9 months. But we are nearly there now. So few more weeks but we hhave everything ready for the baby.
Other things to be mindful of
These ones that can be harmless but needed to be monitored medically, or many need treatment. these can be common however less spoken about. these are things that can cause alarm but are actually very easily treatable and due to hormone changes in pregnancy or some people be more prone to them. for example urine infections (UTI), thrush, mild cramping and sharp abdominal pains can all be very unsettling yet harmless to baby. Spotting and vaginal bleeding can be harmless and common throughout pregnancy, some people even get false periods at the beginning or periods all the way through. however heavy bleeding, with clots or yellow discharge, cramps or back pains all at once can be a cause for concern. bleeding/spotting in pregnancy despite mostly being nothing to worry about should always be medically checked.
Although these are harmless more uncommon symptoms it is important to get them treated especially urine infections and thrush as these can cause complication if left untreated. urine infections can cause vaginal bleeding, pain when urinating, soreness and discomfort as well as low abdominal cramps. if left untreated the infect can go to the kidneys and then cause stress on the unborn baby. It can cause low birth weight and even preterm labour in rare cases, therefore it is important to get tested regular. This is normal routinely check at antenatal appointments throughout pregnancy, nevertheless make sure if you suspect you could have a UTI or thrush make sure you get checked take the treatment, cream or antibiotics which is very safe to take. This will make sure that the infection is treated, but can be recurring so always trust yourself and if you feel something is wrong make sure you get the care you are entitled to.
Other infections that can be harmful when not treated are sexually transmitted infections (STI), or bacteria vaginosis (BV) which generally do not have obvious symptoms, however some signs are increase in discharge that sometimes can smell but most cases doe not, therefore as an increase and changes in discharge is very normal in pregnancy these infections can be missed. BV is harmless when picked up and treated early, however can cause many complications. BV is what Ben had and the cause of our miscarriage last year. this is why we lost our son so something we really feel is important to highlight. It is not spoken about openly and is common. which we only knew ones we lost Nico and spoke to many other people that had miscarriages or who had it and was treated in there pregnancies. It is not routinely tested for in pregnancy however I feel it should be. There are other infections that can be dangerous and effect the baby or harmless if treated, some of these are chicken pox, some flues, whooping cough, toxoplasmosis. see link in reference where you can get more information.
If you read our other blog - Twotransdaddies.- https://twotransdaddies.blogspot.com/2018/12/an-angel-grow-his-wings.html?zx=5f2a7966c4789e3a. I talk about our pregnancy with Nico and how we lost him, i also did do a earlier post about BV and losing Nico, at 27 weeks as a tribute to his memory on the 29/08/19, which was his 1st year anniversary.
Referances:
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