It's all done!
After years of waiting, months of stress worry and planning. I have had my surgery.
On the 18th December 2019 I went into Castle Hill hospital in cottingham Hull to have surgery I have longed for, to finally have a male chest which aligns with my gender identity. The surgeon I originally wanted was Dr yelled, who Ben went with in Brighton. However he no longer had an NHS contact after moving, where as Dr kneeshaw was the next best surgeon up in Hull, which is why I had to travel so far.
Each surgeon have there own techniques and differences in how they preform the producure. Ben's surgery and mine are very different, as ben did not have to have drains in, he just had a tight binder to compress the chest so it did not swell up. Where as I had to have drains, cotton bandages and the binder which I did worry about having to empty and deal with the drains.
On the morning of the 18th we arrived at the hospital at around 7am. A nurse took me to my own private room with a bathroom. The room and hospital were nice compared to London once. The staff were so lovely, they let Ben stay with me, mainly because of having the baby. Ariyah got more attention then I did, as all the nurses made a fuss of her, holding her. Word soon spread and even when I went down for surgery the anesthesia knew about my daughter. But she made for a good talking point as they put me to sleep.
I went down at around 11, Ben walked me to the lift where I got to kiss them both before the nurse took me down to theatre. Ben was told that I would be about 2 1/2 hours so he went to get some lunch.
The last thing I remember is laying on the Bed whilst the anesthesia put oxygen mask on me telling me that first I would go a bit dizzy like I'm drunk, then I was out before I knew it. I then woke up in recovery. I must have been dreaming because as I woke up in my mind I was getting Ariyah-mai dressed for a party. But no I woke up to a nurse checking all my observations. I had oxygen up my nose because my levels were low and it took me a while to come round. I looked at the clock and it was about 3pm which was 4 hours after I went down.
I panicked knowing Ben would be worried, I was still dizzy, feeling out of it. I kept falling in and out of sleep between asking for Ben and the baby. Finally I got taken back up to my room where the nurse went to get Ben for me. The first thing I did was kiss my daughter. (then Ben haha).
I was in a lot of pain and very uncomfortable, I just kept falling in and out of sleep. My oxygen and blood pressure was very low so had to kept the oxygen mask on. I had these pumps on my legs that squeezed my muscles every so often to keep the circulation and prevent blood clots along with the socks. I have two drains in and then was wrapped up in cotttom bandages and then a compression binder. Which is very heavy and tight. All of this made me feel hot, while the pain made me very sick.
About 3 hours after surgery I tried to eat but having only one month full it made me feel worse. I had to just sip water. Because I was a little sick. After Ben left to get the baby settled and to bed where we were staying. It was hard on my own, I could not sit up, could not reach things and just missed them so much. I had to kept calling th poor nurse in to help. I know it is there job but I felt like I was being a pain. I was so uncomfortable, could not really sleep because the pain or the things squeezing my legs kept waking me up.
Then the first time I got up to go toilet I felt so dizzy, I was sick everywhere, the pain getting up contributed to the sickness too. Once I laid back down and the nurse gave me strongbpain killers which made me sleep I felt abit better. I woke up and was able to actually eat something. Which at first really helped I felt less dizzy but two hours later the pain started and again I vomited it all up. After being sick once more the nurse gave me anti sickness tablets. She was surprised I had not been given any before or after surgery. Once I had these I was no longer nauseous or sick. I got some more sleep and managed to keep some fluids down.
The next morning Ben came back early, I missed them so much and I think my baby girl missed me, Ben laid the baby between my legs and next to me and she calmed down and cuddled into my arm.
After being shown how to empty my drains and after the surgeon came and had a quick look under the binder the said I could go home. I had no swelling or bruising and all my observations were fine. My heart rate was a bit high but that is normal after major surgery as well as being in pain.
I got discharged at 11, so we went back to the house we were staying. I managed to get some rest and eat more which I kept down. I laid with my baby girl on the pillow next to me. However over the night I got very uncomfortable and was in lots of pain. I started feeling sick again and just could not sleep. Poor Ben had to deal with me and help me so much as well as feeding ariyah-mai. Who also had a rough night, she was very unsettled and was being sick too. Mainly just flem as she was all bunged up. So we all had a rough first night.
This morning I feel a bit better, got some sleep and after ben emptied my drains and I had some rest I felt better. So onwards to healing and recoverying. I will keep you all updated on how I go. Thus how our first first Christmas as a family goes.
(Written in December 2019)
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