Ariyah-mai is 1

 Happy 1st birthday 

Our rainbow is 1, this happened in a blink of an eye. I can't believe we noww have a one year old. Thhe time really does fly by and glad we  herished ever moment and I hhavee been able to document her jounery in this blog. Especial her milestones, funny little things and all her adventures. So as she grows up she can read through these post and know how she was as a baby. It's very special to have these memories.

We wanted to makee her birthday special and planned a hug party at our house, we Brough so many decorations handed out invites and had many plans for games cake smash ect.. 

But... Due to covid and this current virtual pamedic spreading the glode. Moore restrictions meant we could only have up to six people in our home at ones. This meant completly no party! We were devistated at first as we planned it and wanted her to celebrate being one. But also being our miracle rainbow who we didn't think wee ever get to this milestone as a family, so Wass even more to treasure and celebrate. All taken from us people people could not be sensible and stop thhe spread.

However nothing we could do so plan 2 it was. So we had to stragger people coming round to see her. We had Ben's 25th birthday the weekend before and his cousins 6th. So ariyah ended up with a month of birthday celebrations.

First of the celebrations began the first weekend of October. My mum and step dad ariyah gran a and grandad come over, we had some takeaway ariyah got first taste of KFC. Then they gave ariyah her presents. She loved the tea pot that sung. It come with little cups and cakes to role play with. This is technically older toy but straight away shee surprised us poring thee tea pot pretending to drink for the cups and giving them to us too. This kind of role play is very advanced ad wee aall could tt believe it. She amazes us everyday. She Wass also feeding her baaby the cakes. This is has started doing with her snacks, feeding her toys teddies aand baby. 

Next day we went to margate to have a joint birthday tea party for her and her big cousin. We had balloons party food, with some other cousins joining in, they played and danced. It was lovely as ariyah Hadd just started walking too so she was up running and  dancing with her older cousins. We estranged presents and had cake. Singing happy birthday to them both. It was ariyah first experience of blowing out a candle bless her. And opening presents because she Wass to young to understand at Christmas.

Next celebration was Ben's birthday weekend, we had our friends round Ron and scott with gi. Where they gave Ben aand ariyah there presents, the kids played sand we had cake. Again singing to the both. Ron had made a dairy free cake.

On Sunday was bbens birthday, we actually spend day with close friends at soft play, our friend then had ariyah for a while whilst I took Ben out for nandos. It was nice to have some just us time. 

After that we had the lead up to her birthday where presents were sent from family we couldn't see, we had zoom chats to other family and friends. On Thursday ariyah other cousin on my side who are 2 1/2 twins, and 14 month old. There is like 8 weeks between thee girls which is lovely for them to grow up together. So I was at work but managed to. See them abit before the left. But they had aa good day with mc Donald's and playing. More cKe aand presents too. My cousin made dairy free chocolate brownies and cupcakes which was sweet of her.

Actual birthday day

On Friday ariyaah actual birthday. Me and Ben stayed up all night decorating the living room ready for her in the morning. We placed all her presents out and made cake. Could wait to see her face in thee morning.

So Friday came we both got her put her in her birthday outfit and took her down stairs. Ben carried her as I filmed her reaction. She was mesmerised, standing there saying woow. It was the most presious thing. As she run jumping on the balloons. That morning wee spent playing, opening presents doing little photoshoot. And had pancakes andd chocolate brownies for breakfast.

Sadly I had to go to work, but Ben sent me pictures. She took her out in her new trike. 

When I got home, we had ariyahs little baby group friends over. Keeping to rule of 6ish (babies not included) it was lovely seeing the playing, opening presents together. We then did a cake smash where we first sung happy birthday then just just put the cake in front of ariyah and llet her grab it and eaat it, smashing it up. Her friends then joined in and they all got every messy, but had three happy babies eating cake. It was so messy but so much fun.

She had a lovely birthday but was very tired and did get overwhelmed with the llresents and that was just in a small group. We actually realised it was a good thing we had to slit it up because she would have gotten so overwhelmed and stress. 

Next day came, I took her to ballet while daddies Ben had well deserved rest time to himself. We got to see our ballet friends, danced and played. After ballet we stayed talking to onee of the family from ballet who we formed a bubble with. (this is term for the small groups in which people can interact with due to covid restrictions). They are a lgbt family which is great for ariyah. So her friend brought hher a present and we gave him some of her birthday cake.

After we numbed into Ron and gi as she goes ballet at the same place afterwards. So we hung around and got some lunch with them after. It was nice to spend more time with them as unfortunately girl don't get to see to much of each other because of the virus, making traveling and stuff without cars too risky for them. 

When we got back that afternoon Ben's olld youth worker friend, ariyahs auntie came to see her. She took us out for dinner which was lovely. She was so surprised how grown up ariyah had got since she last saw her. As it had been a few months. We were meant to have more friends came with her however they were in London which unfortunately as of Friday night went into tougher lockdown restriction where they could not mix with other households. This was sad as ariyah would have met her tiny baby cousin. But we make sure we catch up with them. 

On Sunday mum dad and step mum came over, my brother and his girlfriend were meant to also but again him being in thee navy and covid he got called back to base early because number as rising again. We arranged to facetime them and see them hopefully before Christmas. 

But yes we had a lovely Sunday with her grandparents. More cake, presents and food, what more could she need. 

Over all see had a great birthday month. Now leading to her first proper Christmas as shee. Was too young last year. Oh andd Halloween next too. We have lots planned and will keep you all updated. 

I will still continue to blog where I can however many be less updates and more events and bigger milestones now. Bfurthermore I want to thank everyone who wished hher happy birthday, who has followed our story from the beginning and just supported us. 

She is getting so clever and grown up, to much for her own good I think sometime. Our  little saying 'let your boy catch up with your brain' still very much is her moto. She so advance and wants to do everything but sometimes forgets she is still little. She funny and sassy getting a really little attitude and humer now to. She always laughing and smiling and generally is such a happy bubble baby. She has crazy weird little quirks which we love.

including, putting musy over her head and running around. We could not be prouder of her and just over joyed to have shared her precious first year. To be here after thee loss of Nico and just she herr grow everyday is aa treasure. We know he Wass celebrating with us this weekend, he is always watching and guiding us. With this little spirt living through his sister. 

Onwards to our next jouneries. 

11 months update

11 months leading to 1! 

This last month has been crazy, ariyah has been growing up so much. Learning more words, walking, running and just getting to clever. She so tall and grown up. 

Ariyah-mai is a little whirlwind, she is non stop all day. from 5:30-6 in the morning, full off life, which is great when we sleep but not when she has her bad night's and we have all been up and down all night.

She still is not a great sleeper, her naps in thee day are much better, she normally has 2 one around midmorning 10ish, for half hour. Then another longer one around 2/3. However she has been abit poorly again with a cold, cough and teething which means she been up all night, and napping more times in the day. We have noticed is she has a later nap around 4 she can actually last longer until bedtime at 7:30, meaning she is not as many. Therefore settles and sleeps better. This is because overwise she gets over tired and needs to go bed earlier but will be up all hours of the morning at like 3am.

Keeping her active and busy is the key, but with more lockdown restrictions and covid rising again, plus it is now cold and winter this is harder to do. As there is not mucch in doors to keep her so active. As I said she is non stop, loves climbing and being outside. The park is her favourite especially the swings. She will run over shouting at them and will scream when we take her off. She is  now able to start climbing, crawling through the tunnels and sliding down the slide more indepently. But still needs help, not that she let's us. She is so independent if she can't do something she gets very frustrated, furthermore is reluctant to let us help her. However she never gives up and will keep trying which is an amazing trait to have especially so young.

We took her to soft play for the first time since lockdown. (she last went at 3 months old) She was so excited. When we arrived she stood looking saying wow. It was so special to see her face light up. As she ran around, climbing and playing. So glad we can now do these things again. Plus she had her best friend theo and his brother Chris there.

Ariyahs friends

So since going to met ups in thee park with other parents we have formed a little baby group, as well as a very close friendship with another family. Their little on theo is 6 months, he also has reflux and allergies like ariyah so it's nice to swap stories and support each other as parents too. They have another boy who's 5 and on autistic sprecrum which I have been able to offer tips and advice too. Ariyah loves the boys, her and theo's bond is the most precious thing. She will stroke his head, kiss him and give him toys. She is so gentle and caring its beautiful. He loves her too, whilst starting to follow her lead, chatting, clapping and just watches everything she does. Won't be lonng their be running around causing trouble together. 

Ballet going well we made another friend there who is an 8 month old boys with two mummies. It's nice to have more lgbt families for ariyah to interact with. Ariyah seems to get on long with boys more, her boy cousins, who are 2 and 4 she loves, where ass girls she just not interested in playing with. I think Ruby who 5 her big cousin, but that's all other girls or babies she eirther takes no notice off or can be rough with hem, by taking toys even pushing them sometimes. No sure why this is. Maybe having two Daddies and more male figure, where we rough play aand joke with her. 

More so she loves dancing and will dance to anything that has a beat. She will twists and waves her arms, bopping to music. She will come over and say radio or on, to the Google dot clapping for us to play the radio. She loves it. Much more then TV as she is not much of a TV watcher which is a good thing but also not on another hand. Wheree sshe is getting older it would be nice to be able to sit as a family and watch films or for her to watch TV if we are busy. She maybe will manage 5/10 mins when she in the mood but definitely preferrs running round causing trouble.

The last 3 weeks she not only learnt to walk, but she now so stable, she walkes everywhere and doesn't really crawl anymore. If she falls she get straight back up and carry on. She been walking outside too and around the park which is amazing. She so much happier because she can go where she wants. She is also running to, it didn't take long. One Wednesday she took her first steps, then withing 3 days she was fully walking, in direction to where she want to get to. By a week after she was able to turn herself and actually stabilise herself from falling. Now 2/3 weeks later she was off, running, turning, climbing. The is no stopping her.

She loves to climb, she gets up stairs easily now, gets on the sofa, our bed. But more recently she is climbing on tables, she stands up on the sofa and dives off it laughing. We have to watch her constantly. She also, after not even a week of having it stands on her toys and tries to climb over the edge of her playpen. We have to ensure any big toys are out the way. She just too clever.

She also loves getting into kitchen and opening cupboards, pulling all her plates and saucepans out. Which is then banged together. (daddies need to buy cupboard locks) she slide the kitchen door open now which I think is very clever that she learnt as its quite hard to slide across and knowing to do that instead of pulling it. She is very cluded up. She watches what we do and copy. Will not be long before she learns to open baby gates as she gives it a good try.

Other things is just her understanding, which in last week or so just seems no longer a baby. She is able to follow instructions and know what we are saying. Mai ly ssimoke ones like go to the kitchen, upstairs, bathtime, go to daddy, come here, putting arms in clothes. But also we be chatting aand laughtinng and she suddenly laugh at something we said and join in the conversation.

Her speak is coming on so much to, she always chatting and babbling but say more and more words. She is now a little parrot, coping everything we say. More so being able. To begin to have conversation, like what's that, look, go...., help. She say yumm when she hungry and the cutest is she will cuddle a teddy, her dolly or stroke the cat while saying awwww. She feeds the doll and covers it up. She just starting to. Role play with play food and cups. But yes she speaks all the time. Sometimes with attitude to. The otherr day wee called her and she goes 'what' with such sass.

Some of her favourite words: (most said and newer ones) 

• Daddy to Ben 
• Dad or dada to me. 
• Bath
• Snacks
• Cat
• Park
• Duck - quack
• Dog
• More
• No
• Yes
• Whats that
• Nan
• Brother
• Ador (Theodore) 
• Hello
• Byebye
• Bed 
• Yumm
• Wow. 

Can't believe she is now 1! Keep posted there be a birthday update over the weekend. 

We have a walker !!

 Help us! We not ready for this. 

This baby amazes us everyday. So those of you who are following will know that ariyah has always preferred to be upright. Even as aa young baby 2/3 months she wanted to sit and stand. She would stand on our legs. By 4 months she was standing up with some support from us and Wouold even take steps when we held her by her waist.

At 6 months she was craising round furniture and standing her self up. Sshe Wass so persistent and would try and let go standing momentarily on her own. On occasions she try take one step but follow. But this girl is determined. There no stopping her. By 7 months she was crawling so less determined to. Walk but still craising and standing when she could. At 9 months she was stand independently, walking holding just onee hand. 

Exactly 10 months that morning she took her first three independent steps where she stood herself up and walked. She stock herself I think and sat down. Then every timme she took the odd one or two steps if we noticed her she just sat down. She then gott ill and that throw her off for a while. But as I said nothing stopped her she was soon back up in her feet, taking the odd step or two. Leading up to 11monnths shee did start taking small. Steps in between things or to us I think 5/6 was most we counted. 

On 22/09/20 at 11 weekss and few days she was off. She walked abit which I missed as I was at work. She had a friend over who is almost 2 so he is toddling around so this helped as she tried to copy and walk after him. Also being at baby groups she was seeing other older toddlers learning and walking. 

Then when I got home we facetime her cousin GI. Whilst gi was on the phone ariyah walked across the room to the phone it was so sweet as she laughed realising what she done. Gi was clapping and saying we'll done ariyah for walking. It was a precious moment that thankfully we also got on camera. Every since that there is no stopping her now. She walking everywhere. 

So here where the fun starts, although she not very fast right now so wee can catch her, on that note she is already trying to run so she going to give us the run around. Getting everything andd climbing more then she already does. So spend two Daddies help hehe. 

10 months developments

                   We have a toddler.

I know technical over 1 is classes as a toddler not a baby, however we feel ariyah is no longer our tiny baby. She will always be our baby but has reached toddle stage.

This is mainly because she is constantly on her feet, she is standing all the time and for ages without touching anything. She can stand herself from sitting position independently. She is even taking steps, the odd one or two between furniture or to reach something she wants if she has stood herself up. However has on a few occasions taken 4+ steps. We noticed if we were watching, get the camera out or praised her. She would stop and sit down. Sometimes laugh or just crawl off like she has not done anything. This led to us not taking any notice or secreatly watching her but not giving her that attention. Then she will take steps because there is no pressure. She hates the attention or praise so hopefully by not acknowledging when she does it, she may just walk.

We know she can walk it is just all confidence now, once she learns if she falls she gets back up she be off. Also that she safe and we wouldn't let her hurt herself. She does walk down the road, in Park or anywhere really holding just one finger. I have even held slightly under one elbow or her clothes where she will walk independently without knowing. 

So walking and stepping is the hug milestone this month plus learning lots of other things and just getting clever. She climbs the stairs as well. She does it very easily and quickly now, as well as trying to climb everything else. She started to get up and stand on her little chair. Another funny thing is she crawles under her little table, lays under it sometimes but just likes crawling in and out. 

She is more presistant, independent and funny everyday. She waves and say hi to everyone, which is her new thing as we walk around she smiles waveing and gets everyone walking by to say hello to her. She very friendly with people and getting used to being around people again which is amazing.

We have met a few parents with little ones who we meet regularly, they are so lovely and accepting of our unique family too. They been very supporting and we all became a close group. It is amazing too as it gives ariyah lots of friends. They are a few months younger but she loves them. Especially one little boy, who she is so gentle with. She stokes him while saying baby, and gives him toys. It just melts our hearts to see. I hope that as they all grow they remain friends as do we with the parents.

Another main thing is that ariyah is talking!!! Full responding to us and just so chatty. If we ask her something she say yes or no, making clear choices of what she wants. I have lost count on words she can say. But bath seems to be her latest one. She loves the bath and water. She says nana alot too. She just chats all the time but actual words, like coping everything we say. She also showing her cheekiness too by say nope. She said to Ben the other day 'No' when he said it is time for nap. Then she goes no nap, nope. Haha. She also say 'did it' a alot when she done something like climbing, grabbing something ect... 

She is a also signing more too, she signs and says milk and is starting to indicate for food as she signs milk but says yumm. So we are trying to teach her to sign food. She signs more and finished (all done). She can recognise others like wait, or drink. 

Her sleep well.... It is not as bad as it was, she has good and bad nights. Since she is teething, snotty and doing more so napping less. It can play a role wether she is unsettled or sleeps, well depending on that day. Most of the time she has generally been very good. She does Naps twice a day now and can fall asleep without a bottle. Going down for bed at around 6:30/7, but still waking early more often then not, before half 6. Hopefully she settles more as she gets older, when her reflux truly settles and these teeth come through. One thing with her sleep which has really help was giving her a duvet and pillow. Before we are critised she is 5 weeks away from 1, she is well advanced and can easily pull covers off her at night. We choose to do this early, while being safe by testing it out first when she napped. Then early bedtime, so we could keep a close eye. Where it is now starting to get cold, we are having to put her in sleep suits again. Furthermore with her little blankets she would kick them off and it would wake her up, as she likes being tucked in. She also moves so much in her sleep that she ended up all over the place. This included banging her head or getting limbs caught in the bars. Now with the pillow and duvet she stays in one place (mostly) all tucked in. The pillow helps her not to bang her head as well as relieving her reflux. It definitely has helped her sleep better. 

We have started to taking her out more as things are easing and opening back up. Like to the park where she loves the swing, she crys if she is taken off. Also we been able to take her to other baby groups now which is great because she getting older, more sociable and aware of the world around her. She was in lockdown most of her young life so we want to do as much as possible. I have taken her to baby ballet. She seemed to enjoy it, standing and dancing. Playing with the ribbons and props. It is hard because we still have to follow social distancing, where each parent and baby is given there own props with a mat, that we have to stay on. Ariyah just wants to see everyone and crawl around. So it is a challenge but she is loving it, following in her daddies footsteps of dancing. Ben is going to take her football when she is bit older as he has put her on the waiting list. He does take her to a sensory group one in the park where they do different themes and stuff each weeks, like bubbles, sensory bottles ect... Next Monday she starts a music session. 

She getting bored of toys really, she does not play and has been really interned in the animale figures we got. Along with the the my first building bricks. She presses the buttons on toys and likes pushing the balls through the hole and down the slope on one of her big activity ones. She is starting to be interested in books as she does sit and turn the pages, touching and looking at them. But enjoys pulling them off the shelf more. 

I have gone back to work, which is why it's more important that she has got groups to go and Ben's got other parents to talk to and thing to do with her. It very weird after so long off work. It has been since December, when I had surgery, then lockdown. I miss them so much when I am at work but I am kept busy and get to spend weekends, evenings and holidays with them both. It is hard but I'm sure I will get used to it in time. Never be easy being away, missing things and more developments as she grows up. 

She has got more teeth again. I feel like her teething is never ending. This time it's two back ones at the bottom. She has been really ill, snotty and irritable lately which we think plays a role in her teething. But now she is able to eat so much, and has just slightly chopped or broke food. Most things she eat whole now like blueberries or chips. She enjoying proper sandwhich, pasta, fruit and veg as usual. She now gone out to eat a few times and will eat a whole kids portion. Brocoli and fruit like rasberry and blueberry are still her favourite. She loving yogurt at the moment dairy free of course. She has eaten peas now in foods yet to try again on their own which we should do. But other then bananas she will eat anything. She eats herself and drink water or flavoured water from a straw bottle by herself. 

So over all very healthy and happy girl, growing up, doing a amazing and making her daddies proud. 

Sick baby - covid scare.

       Hate seeing her ill. 

This last week Ariyah-mai has not been herself. After a very busy week in London then looking after our niece it was nice to have some quite time. However this followed by a boiling hot heatwave were temperature hit 37 degree, which is for the UK. I have never known it to be that high. This meant we had a hot, sweaty baby. On top of that this was our week to get things sorted in the house all the last touch ups before I'm back at work. We decided to paint and clean and sort whole house on the hottest week ever. Which was not a good idea. Painting in the night when ariyah was asleep however the paint was driying  quicker then we could even get it on the wall. This was not fun but finally all done. 

It was far to hot to even go out and enjoy the weather. We got out for little walks and things but far to hot for our little lady. She did get slightly burn at the beach bless her. So it was her first time at the beach with her cousins too. She love it. Wanting to swim in the sea and crawling round the sand. 

Anyways after this hot week leaving us tired, sleepless because it was far to hot for ariyah to sleep. The temperature droped and it was much better. We have visits from family which was nice for ariyah to see her nanny, grandads and grandma. But following these visits ariyah got sick.

Ariyah being ill 

Sunday evening/night was when it started. She been grumpy and not herself that day. But put it down to teething. Then her temperature was 38 degrees. She was boiling to touch. So call 111 who told us to take her a&e. They did her observations, and urine sample but all came back fine so was sent home. We had the worse night ever. She was up every half hour to hour, crying l, feverish. We have her Calpol and put her in our room to keep am eye. We also ordered a cornivirus home testing kit just to rule it out due to high temperature. Which to be honest they should have done a test in hospital but did not. Then refused to when we asked. 

Monday she weren't herself and slept a lot. Gp gave us antibiotic without even seeing her or making any history. We have her one dose on Tuesday morning which she spat straight back out. 

Tuesday she was not herself at all she was so tired she was just laying on the floor, not interested in her toys, were eating, not taking milk. She manage to drink water which meant she were dehydrated. Had direah and less wet nappies. Those who know her will know she none stop, playing laughing, climbing and getting up to trouble. So to just laying and sitting on our lap was not her at all. She was clingy but so hot she also pushing us away crying but grabbing for a hug. She just did not know what to do. 

Then as her temperature rose to 39.3+ as just kept going up, she could kept herself awake and refused milk so we call 111 again. This time they sent an ambulance who took her into hospital, she conveniently perked up. Again anyone with children will know that they do this and make you look silly. She laughing chatting to ambulance crew and nurses when we got there. Again they did observations,and checked her nose and throat, tested urine and told she fine. We were not happy so Ben took her back in and spoke to a manage a pedestrian came down from the ward to examine Ariyah-mai.

The pedestrian checked her and said that she seemed to have a sore throat and possible onset of tonsillitis however because we responded quickly with bringing her temperature down and giving her Calpol it hopefully is the end of this viral infection and see get better from now. That she was over the worse. That we should not give her any more of the antibiotic as the hp should not have prescribed it without seeing her but more so due to her being young and premmy.  Plus they don't even know what infection or if there even is a infection to treat. 

Day 4 (Wednesday) Ariyah seemed cooler and had a better night sleep. So thought it was the end of it. Then she started to just cry, like scream cry. I have never seen her or heard her like this before. Even as a baby with reflux and colic this cry was different it was real pain. We have her Calpol, teething gel and powder. She kept running her ears and making funny grimacing face so again thought it was her teeth. We can see where back ones are coming in now. So put all this down to her teeth again. But she just got worse, crying screaming, throwing herself to the floor she was clumsy tired. Still not eating or drinking. We took her temperature as she felt cooler, but sweating. This time it was low at 35.2 degrees. This continued so we rang the hospital and they told us to bring her up to actual children's ward to be assessed. Same pediatrians saw her, which was better then having to explain everything over and over to be told she is fine. So this time they did some blood tests. It came back that her infection marked are hight whilst at the lower end of high showing she did have a infection but is not to concerning. That it is the tail of it and she be better in a few days. To again keep and eye bring her back if we worried. 

Thursday morning she seems so much more herself, still moaning a bit, and tired but playing and laughing again. She was being her cheeky self. However a rash that started about in a&e yesterday got worse and spread. Last night it was a tiny patch on her stomach which nurse at hospital said was viral. While today it was blotchy, she started to get molted colouring to her skin. She still was not really drinking milk or interested in food. She started laying on floor crying again. Her eyes and arms were also swollen. We have her antihistamines to bring it down. It looked like an allergy rash. Like she got before however she hasn't had anything other then the antibiotic ones. (This contained penicillin) so worried she was all puffy and swollen. Called 111 and was sent back up the hospital. 

Still they putting it down to viral and to just see how she goes. She is much more herself come then weekend. Where she is back to eating a lot. Once she got her appite back and her cheeky personality we knew she was no the mend. 

We did book and do her covid home test just to rule out that. Which we order Sunday night, got and sent back on tuesday. Then after days of waiting it all came back negative which we knew it would as she was feeling much better.

Whilst she was ill, and even a few days after she was still receiving. This week knocked her back a bit. She was no longer interested in standing, did not really want her milk. She sleeping and tired more but still waking in the night. She still had moments where she cry but she is much more herself. 

A new week. 

Sunday she was much better and in time because my brother and his girlfriend came to see us with the dog. My brother is in the navy so is away or working on base most of the time, plus with covid happening, this meant he had not seen her since 28th of December 2019. We now in August 2020. That's a whole 8 months. She was only 10 weeks old now 10 months. So hug difference. They could not believe how big she was and clever crawling,climbing and being cheeky. She loved the dog and was very gentle with each other. 

Funny thing was we have her a treat to feed the dog, as the dog took it out her hand there was pure deviation and anger that the dog took it. We had to give her a snack too lol. But yes she was back to cheeky self but still not fully. Think it's going to take her a while to recover. As she just not interested anymore in standing, walking or anything.she just not as chatty. 

Monday comes around and she back, our cheeky, active clever bubba. She standing alone again, walking and climbing. It's my last week before going back to work so we going to try spend time and do things this week. She taken more random steps today. Which we managed to catch one step on camera. Then running around holding our hand at the garden centre. She also drunk milk and ate so much today. Which we are so half about. She such a goody so we knew she was really I'll when she refused to eat or drink. But we got nothing to worry about there her appite is definitely back. So glad that our baby girl is feeling better. And here to a good week leading to Nico's 2nd birthday this weekend. 

I will post about on both our blogs as we have some friends coming round.  

9 months.

 

How did this happen.

It seems like only yesterday that we found out we were expecting just over a year ago now. Then when she was born premmy being so tiny. That constant fear we would loss her. Now our tiny miracle 5lber now 20lb 70cms tall at 10 months old so not really a baby anymore.

The last few weeks she has suddenly just grown up. It not even that she doing anything much more then before, she just seems more independent and talking a lot. She can now say a lot of things, copies us constantly and surprises us everyday with a new word. She now eats so well and her reflux is pretty much under control. Unlike last time I posted. She is sleeping better however still not fully in a routine, with teething and the heat wave currently not helping. 

We got her weighted and put on a different medicine for her reflux, which we had research and heard from other parents on a Facebook group for reflux and allergy babies. This other tablet seems to be working wonders. It has been two weeks now and she is taking her milk without fussing, falling asleep better. No arching her back or screaming all the time. She generally happier, less constipated with much better bowel movements. She is not really being sick only on very odd occasions, no more rash, crying or arching. Basically a different baby. Still has her  frustration moments because of her teeth or when she is tired, in all she is so much better.

As I said she is now sleeping and eating better. We kinda given up on trying to set a routine instead just following her and what she needs. I think it has settled us all, because we are less stressed and so is she. This was mainly due to being away in London to stay with friends and family therefore there was no point when travelling, in a different house and around other people including young children. She was not in her safe, familiar environment therefore no point trying to set or keep a routine. We were out and about so she sleep bits and pieces in the pram. Falling asleep when she was actually tired. I definitely believe this gave us the freedom to just let her sort her self out, allowing us, mainly myself, to just let go of trying to have a routine or plan. Exactly what my OCD needed after lock down.

Whilst we was away we also was able to relax a bit where I felt better in public, I was not as anxious being out, in parks or near people whilst outside. Still did not go inside shops with Ariyah. We did have to get the bus ones which did freak me out a bit. No one was wearing masks or staying the distance. Also some people where really rude tell us they will suffocate if they wore a mask so we should cover our baby. that one thing I will not be doing again for a while especially in London.

We did manage to see lots of people and do so much,  it felt so good after such a long time in lock down. It was so good for Ariyah to spend time with our chosen family, see more people and just be out. Being around her older cousins helped her so much developmentally too.

Things we did.

We went to her cousins 1st birthday seeing family again for the first time since Xmas. When she was 9 weeks old. This was lovely to see her with her 1 and 2 year old cousins all playing together. The boys were so gentle and loving with her. This was also Ariyah first train and bus journey since Febuary/March.

In London we went to Battersea park, where we feed the ducks. Ariyah loved it, saying duck and trying to throw bread in. She wanted to get in the lake with them haha. We took some lovely photos of us all and the kids together. Then we even braved going in the playground. We put Ariyah on the swing and slide but with us so she didn't touch anything. First time since lock down so second time ever in the park.

On the Tuesday we went to Tooting Bec Common to met the LGBT playgroup we attended before we moved. Where us adults social distance as much as we could but the kids were able to play together. This was lovely to just chat to other adults and parents again. To see all Ariyahs baby group friends all grown up too. We again played in the park a little, still very nervous of these things.

The following two days we spent with another family member, seeing her little cousin who 3 months younger then Ariyah. We spent time there and Ariyah enjoyed chasing the kitten and her 5 year old cousin around. We also went to see my old colleagues from work who couldn't believe how big Ariyah had gotten. She was amazed at how clever she was. Then back to our cousins on the Friday we went to the park with them were we slashed around in the little pond. Ariyah-Mai loves the water, she was walking through it and slashing her big cousins. She likes all the rough and tumble with her older boy cousins. It was nice to see her building relationships with other children and family again. Then later we went park with her Aunty Shan and MJ. Got to see our friend Chris's again who is a trans guy due to give birth in 5 weeks. More little cousins for Ariyah.

On Saturday we went to Battersea Park zoo to see Ben's friend. Ariyah-Mai first time at the zoo, she loved all the animals, mainly the monkeys and donkey which came right up for us to stroke. She got very spoilt by our friend who got her a sloth toy, as well as her first proper vegan ice cream. which as you can imagine she created a hug mess! After we took a walk through Battersea park where there a water fountain in a large water pool. Loads of kids were swimming and slashing it in so we took MJ and Ariyah in. As she loves water so much, she didn't want to get out so me and Ben took turns taking her in, as she swam and slashed around. 

Later that day we had a social distance walk with a young boy I used worked with. It was nice to see and catch up with his family. Ariyah was crawling and trying to run after him. On Sunday we venture home with another friend who drove us back and spent some time at ours with Ariyah. Whilst we unpacked and tidied.

One thing that did happen was Ariyah decided to give us a worry and banged her head hard on a TV unit whilst trying to stand. This resulted in an a&e trip to Kingston hospital due to falling asleep then waking and vomiting. Lucky she was completely fine, smiling and chatting to all the nurses. We were in and out within minutes. She got to go in a blue light ambulance which she was not so keen on this time. She had a small mark on her forehead which vanished the next day, also was her happy chatty self like nothing had happened.

 It was a very busy week away, Ariyah-Mai was exhausted but could tell it really did wonders for her social and emotional health, development and just gave her the chance to explore, relax and learn. With lots of first or things she hadn't done in such a long time. Now we have her other cousin, our niece who is 3 staying with us for the week. So very busy. We met some new friends at social distance picnic in our local park with some parents in the area, this was nice to met other parents finial after moving and not being able to met people or go to baby groups. Then to give Ariyah some friends. We also spent lots of time with her cousin playing, going for walks. 

Then recently we did another first for Ariyah. She had her first trip to the beach. We went to dymchurch beach with my cousin Beth and her three kids. The ones who 1st birthday we went to. It was there first time at. A beach too. It was so lovely as it was hot, with a nice sea breeze. It was not actually too busy so kids were a able to freely crawl around playing. Ariyah loved it she got to crawl and play in the sand and the water. She completely loved the sea, she was so confident slashing in it, sitting and walking through it. She wanted to go in deeper, so we took her in and she was loving swimming around. She laughed when the big waves came which most kids including one of her cousin were scared of it. Yet she had the best time which was just so wonderful. To see her experiences new things. She also went on her first little ride which was the tea cups and a little boat one that went round. Again she really like it despite the spinning tea cups she was laughing away. Such a dare devil and adrenaline baby we have. 

Other things that she started doing because of this week away is talking a lot!!! She says so much now and been listening and coping everyone. MJ who is 3 has really helped her learn to share, play with other children and just communicate more. I post on my previous post about all the new words she says, so go take a read.

New words or phases. 

She started just randomly talking more everyday. She now replies with yes, no, or a very sassy maybe. She seems to just respond and talk constantly. And there are word that she randomly say in context too. So we trying to get her to use the word for us to know her needs. Like yes, no, more, milk, food, drink, help, up. 

Funny things she said. So today stood at the door to the back garden. Which is her favourite place atm because the cats go out so she watches them. She say kitty and cat now. As well as Hayes. She goes hi cat. So today her first little convo. she at the door says

 "dada, cat."

I said yes "Hayes is there, he sleeping" 

Ariyah. "get cat" 

I Said "he doesn't want to come in"

Ariyah "get him in" 

It was so cute and her first ever kinda conversation, that we could make out as she babbles replies to us constantly. But this was very clear that Ben heard from the kitchen. 

Other things she said. 

• Dog
• Help just started this one. 
• Good girl (to herself, as her cousin says it)
• Nana. 

There more but as I said she catches us off guard with replies and words that we didn't even know she says, she copies us bit also just says things in context like money and picks up her toy monkey. Or ball or baby or cat to those things. 

Milestones this month.

Along with talking, Ariyah-Mai is now listen more and can follow very basic instructions like get me the ball, or following us by crawling where we need her. Or give to daddies and she hand us whatever it is she shouldn't have. 

She is now clapping too, which happened very recently. She was bring her hands together and shaking them for ages but had no interest in actual clapping. Then whilst we were away she just did it. Now she does it all the time, managed to catch it on camera too.

 

She is standing now to, she can stand independently without holding on by pushing up off the floor. On top of this she stands there for a long time before sitting back down. When holding on she can easily walk round things and navigate her way around toys, furniture well whatever is in the way really. She very good a lowering herself back down instead of just dropping to her bum or knees, this is so good because she so independent and we do not need to be right behind her every time she stands up. She also able to bend down pick a toy up and stand back up again to then let go. With this she will be stepping in no time. 

Ariyah-mai is walking holding one hand, she walks round with just holding a finger. It all about confidence ones she learns if she drops to get back up there will be no stopping her. She has started to run holding one hand now, then will let go and take a couple steps before falling into Ben's or mine arms. She know her daddies will always catch her. 

She eating well as usual, self feeds majority of the time unless it's things like jelly or yogurt, we tend to load the spoon then she take it and feed herself. But now she use her hands and pincer grip for everything else. We do have to just put a small amount on her tray and she has a tendency to just put everything in her month at once and has gagged or choke on a few occasions. But she eats every large bits now, chowing very well. She loves her food. Milk has cut down which is great because she is eating more and drink lots of water in a straw bottle or plastic water bottle, like sports squirt bottle or fruit shoot ones. She could eat all day if she could. We can no long eat or drink in peace because she wants it, she so president and will climb up us to get food. 

we went out for dinner again first time since lock down, it still weird being out after 4/5 months being in doors. especial in pubs or shops. to adapt to this new world we living in with masks, social distancing. shops having one way systems, having temperature checked at doctors or work before entering the building. then pubs and restaurant having to do contact-less service from a distance. the pub we went to was a little one by the river, it has a garden which is how they are operating now this is all good on a nice day but when winter hits and its cold and raining i wonder how these place will open. No one other then staff are entering the building, they have spaced out there tables to be far apart to adhered by 2 metre distance that the government have set out. then you order in a make shift bar which is two tables again so staff and the public are 2 metres apart, they take your order, you pay by card. then they bring out your drinks or food put them on the table step back as you step forward and take it. there a Que and hand Sanitiser provided with outside toilets. its all very strange. but it was nice to be out, Ariyah enjoyed exploring and sitting at the table/ on it. she had her first meal out ever! with lock down and her reflux and allergies being changeling when we eat anywhere else. 

She has learnt to climb onto the sofa too which we have to watch as she will roll around and dive head first off it. We have been teaching her to turn around and slide off backwards to stand up, which she can do, however she will go head first and laugh. So she knows what she doing, luckily our sofa is quite low and she does catch and slide off with her arms. She also getting so cheeky as she get something she not meant to have and laugh at us as she crawls away. Or she will start to climb looking at us to see if we are watching and laugh. 

No new teeth yet still has 8 but definitely teething badly so we are expecting back ones coming in soon. With this she has now learnt to bit which has not been fun. She crawls up and bit our leg. We have had a few occasions where we had to tell her no and move her when she tried to bit her cousin this week or the cats. 

Overall she just growing up at a blink of an eye, she getting very big and clever, we have her 9 month review next week. Then lots to look and plan for. Her big brothers 2nd birth anniversary. Then daddy Ben's birthday and her 1st. As we now are planning for which is scary to think our baby will be 1! 

Therefore keep posted and look out for more updates of these exciting times ahead. 

some extra photo to see how big she is getting and her bond with her cousin. 

(Written in August 2020)

Communication

 Baby talk.

As parents we all wait for those first words wondering what they will be, wishing for either mumum or dadad however there are many other ways in which babies first learn to communicate. Along with ways we communicate to them and respond to our babies needs.

I am going to go through very early stages of communication, from the early crys, facial and body language or little ques babies may do to express a need. Then as they grow babbling leading to words as well assalternative ways, like gestures or sign language that can aid communicate skills and development.

So from the moment babies are born they communicate a need, whether it is for a feed, sleep, nappy change or cuddle. They are communicating. At first it is hard to know what they are trying to express. But as a parent you learn the difference in their cries or moans to disinquish what it is they need. However that may be difficult, like with ariyah it is okay if they do not have different cries and you can't tell what they need, instead just go through them all have they been changed, are they hungry, tired, need a cuddle, in pain, teething, sick ect... It took us a while because ariyah did not have different cryes or ques at all. Still now it's hard but we can tell more. through routines that we have set or now that she is starting to talk, point or sign. Before she whould go from smiling to screaming in seconds.

Other ques on top of crying might show what it is the baby wants, for example rubbing eyes or yawning when tired, or hands in month and slapping lips if they need milk. Then biting or rubbing side of cheeks or ears if they in pain. Again some babies have very clear ques from a newborn however many do not. Ariyah-mai being one of these. She chow her hands or anything she can when she is teething and very moany. Then with her reflux and allergy she aches her back, crying and wiggling when she is in pain but in terms of milk hunger ques she didn't show any. Just would scream in hunger straight away no warning. Again her needing changing we did regularly when we feed her so she was always clean.

It was only around 5/6 months she showed some difference in crys and showing hunger signs before getting to screaming. But more so now as she older, as I said through her routine you can tell when she tired as she rubs her eyes and lays down. She be irrriatble and winy. Then when she hunger for milk she still just crys but again we catch her before that with having a routine. She gets very hunganrgy for actual food tho. She loves her food and will get very grumpy. But she can tell us now by eirther crawling near the kitchen or her bag where snacks are. She does say or sign milk sometimes. Obviously teething she bite on everything cry and chow so that's a clear sign.

Babling
Babling is such an important milestone, as it is where babies first start to learn about sounds, two way conversations and building relationships. Therefore it is even more important to bable back to your baby,. By coping their sounds, making different pitches and ranges with your voice for them to try and mimic back. Also use facial expressions for feeling for them to be able to pick up on tones and moods, within speach. Along with babbling actually talk to your baby, this exposes them to word as well as ryhme of language. Singing is great to teach ryhme and tones for sentences later on. Just talk to your baby, as your cooking dinner, doing chores, at the shop. Explain what your doing point out things that the baby can see and describe them. You might look abit strange walking round the supermarket but it is so virtual for babies development. As they are exposed to so many words, speach patterns and expressions, which they soak in. Their brains are like sponges they listen and watch taking it all in then with start to vocalise themselves. The more you sing and talk and interact with your children the better intellectual they will be.

I must say with my job in special education it something I have training in which is called intense interaction that's based on the interaction between baby and their parents. Then as a parent myself using this skill i do have an advance to be able to truly know the postive impact it will have on Ariyah-mai. That said my one thing, like my pet hate as a parent is when people do not talk to there babies/children. They learn from us and the world around them. The more they are exposed, the greater there chance so just talk, doesn't matter if you look strange or it even makes sense just interact, be there in that moment with your baby is the best thing any parent can do. Does take money, or much time. So please talk interact and build those bonds.

Other means of communication.
Whillst talking to baby is so vital, there are other ways of communicating which are just as important or aid speach which for some people is even more vital. Then others for example if a family member is deaf, mute (can't speak) or has special educational needs/disabilities then other forms like sign language, body/facial expressions and gestures are the only means of communicating. Whereas for others it's just extra ways to aid speach, understand as well as teaching them to be inclusive to everyone. We have been signing with ariyah since she was very young. She understand many signs but can also now sign milk, more and yes. We sign finished and wait she is trying to learn those at the moment.

So the point I am making is interact, talk and just encourage all forms of communication with your babies or children. It's never to late for them to learn to sign, or another language they learn a alot more when they are so young. Talk to your babies, don't be too worried about looking silly. Also reading to them or signing helps them pick up speach, tone, pace and the whole process of sentence structure in order to communicate. They learn two way conversations where listening is just as important as talking. You can never talk to your baby too much!

Ariyah has babledd and spoke from a very young age. We feel this is because we have always talk to her, told her what we was doing, pointing and looking at toys or things, while describing them. We sign, sing and used our face/body language to cconnect with her. So she has been able to let us know what she wants before she can even talk fully. Although she is a chatter box. No stopping her now.

First words- so people class a baby first words differently. As all babies bable and minic sounds they will generally make sounds together that minics a word they hear alot. However at first they have no understanding of what certain words mean it just coping. This is why me and Ben do not count these as first words or any words until she has consistently said it with meaning. Like baby and picked up her doll. Or when we were with her little cousins who is 6 months old, she says baby and stroked her face. This shows she truly know the meaning beind the word. Or when we ask her questions she very clear at saying yes or no. Or more. She looks at herself in the mirror too and says me. She also signs me or more along with the word again showing she knows what the word and sign means.

Ariyah first word was her name ar-iy-ah which she said broken down like that but it was coping us and sounding it out. But then her actual first word with meaning that she said on her own was hiya when we got her up in the morning she waved and said hiya. Dad and daddy came after that. Now she talks all the time.


Words ariyah says:
Yeah
No
Hiya/hi
Byebye
More
Milk
Me
Baby
Dog
Cat/kitty.
Dad
Daddy
Dada
Nana
Wow
Brother whilst look at photo of Nico. This was a specail moment.
Then (brov) thanks to her aunty.

Other random words we think we heard:

Drink
Yum
All gone (cat ran away)
Run a few times
Mj and boy (her cousin)
Duck- quack. Once when we saw ducks
Gi (her cousin)
Said aunty once
Tries to say monkey (lots of teddies/ favourite toy)
Bum pooy (few times when changing her)
There are more but I can't remember.


One hard things being trans daddies is that Ariyah-mai has started babbling mumum which all babies do without it having meaning. She has not really heard the word other then recently with her aunty as her younger 3 year old cousins says mummy. Ariyah did say it a few times and it was hard, us being daddies. Getting asked where her mummy is by strangers or how she came into the world if we are together. So that can be hard as it is trying to explain we are transgender and her dad's. Without her now saying mumumu. We realised that she does tend to babble it when she is frustrated. Then said it when eating so we say yum yum to her. She also says me me me alot when again She wants something or more more, which can sound alot like mumumum.Hopefully she becomes more clear with what she is actually saying but at the moment I think it's just bable. Despite knowing this it still hard to hear when we are male and dad's.

(Written in August 2020)

8 months

 

I'm not ready for this. 

Our baby is growing so fast, where has our tiny premmy gone she is now turning 9 months (well a toddler more like it). She a very funny, sassy girl. And grow up to be very Independent and clever so we could not be prouder.

So this month has all gone up in the air, we were getting their with her routine, sleep, vomiting and allergy however now that all just well down hill. It is very frustrating.

So after changing milk she starting settling finally, still waking at 5am and some nights but quickly settled and was napping. She was now drinking all her milk because of having thickener. She was no longer vomiting, It was all going well.

Until suddenly she starting getting really unsettled, she was gagging and choking again. Could not handle soilds. We had to re blend stuff. She was arching her back and not sleeping straight away after milk. It took about an hour to settle her to sleep. This was hard because she bigger and stronger now so when she arching, wiggling and grabbing because she was so uncomfortable it is hard to hold her for so long. You could hear the milk in her tummy and gurgling in the throat, this was acid building up. We knew straight away her reflux was back. Yes she was not vomiting but had all her old symptoms of silent reflux. Like getting snotty and coughing too.

Therefore clearly the vomiting was due to her milk allergy while these other symptoms was from reflux. After calling the health visitor and the gp we got her back on medication. She is booked in to be weight next this week to get a proper dose and possible try a stronger different medication.

It has only been a a few days since meds so she is still abit unsettled. But hopefully with time plus a stronger dose, she will get there. I think she going to have to stay on medication because everytime we take her off it all comes back within weeks.

She is now eating better, having more soilds and bigger meals which is great, she is not coughing or gagging. She dropped her milk down which is only normal as she eating more and getting older. But still not sleeping to well.

Part of her sleep may have been due to her cot size on top of the reflux. This is where she is growing so much well how tall she is at least. As she sleeps sideways this means she bangs her head on the bars or gets her arms or legs caught. The cot she has is a small second hand one, it's 60cm by 120cm. She is 68cm tall so bless her trying to lay side ways or where she tosses and turns in her sleep. Because of this we brought her a brand new cot bed. It's bigger at 70cm by 140cm also the height off the bars are taller. Where she now stands up the old cot bars are at her chest meaning we are so scared that she will start to pull up and tumble out of her cot. So now with the new one hopefully it is taller and won't have to worry about her falling Not to mention it has a sloth on it, ariyah loves sloths so glad my likes have rubbed off onto her. She cuddles her sloth teddies and will staree at the wall stickers. So she getting more of a sloth rainbow theme now, streaming away from jungle.

On the plus side now lockdown is easing we have been able to go out abit more and have been able to start seeing friends and family. This has been amazing to be able to finally see people instead of over facetime. It was werid tho, the first person to come round without social distancing was our best friend Shannon. It was very weird to hug someone again other then Ben or ariyah. As well as having someone else in our house because since we moved in 4 month ago no one has been allowed over. We then saw Ben's cousin and the kids. Our friend Sarah as well as Imogen my old school friend had also popped over. We had also seen some family and friends in London.

Despite this being great to see people again it was weird and hard to watch ariyah reactions. Ariyah took ages to get used to people. She would cry, due to
getting very overwhelmed at first. So people had to go at her pace, letting her go to them. It did not take to long for her to start being okay with others holding her. I found it weird myself hugging people after so long or anxious being out so no wonder how she felt being held and around other people when she has only known it to be just us. She will be seeing more family this week, getting her first hugs off her grandparents after 4 months.

I have gone into work for a few days for training and meeting staff/pupils that will be in my class in September. It was very werid again being on a train and traveling since lockdown began in March. But it was also nice to be around new people, getting to know the school and just being back to some normality. At the same time it was horrible being away from Ben and Ariyah for the first time. Other then trips to doctors or shops we had not been apart, lockdown in the house 24/7. So very werid being without them. I'm looking forward to going back don't get me wrong and for lockdown to end so we can get back to normal. We can take ariyah swimming to the park ect... But at the same time I have loved being at home watching our daughter grow, not missing her first. To be able to do up our new house and spend time with Ben. So it's a catch 22. But it did mean that we got tested for covid 19, which all ccome back negative yay. We do not have the virus currently.

Ariyah-mai's milstones
There has not really been many millstone this month as I said before she seems to skip a month where she taking it all in then suddenly the next month she suddenly does loads

She has been talking so much more, making all sorts of sounds but also making out some words. She has yes, no, more, dad/dada, hi hello, hiya, ariyah, the random one off is, bye, run, trys to say cats/ there names. There is lots of times she says things we say like she is coping and learning to talk more each day. When she screams or pull the cats we always say oh gone. Telling her if she not gentle they run away. Today the cat ran away from her as she pull his fur. I definitely heard the words 'oh gone' even Ben heard and he was in the other room. There been others that we can't be sure but she is coping and chatting more each day. She is also starting to sign alittle, she signed yes for a while and now says it along side the sign so we know the sign was intentional, then she will sign more has signs milk a few times as well.

Other then chatting and laughing none stop she is always just all over the place, she can crawl very fast now, pulls herself up on everything and cruises all around the furniture. Meaning she gets up to things she should not be doing, so we had to rearrange some stuff. She can stand without holding on for a lot longer. She also very good a getting herself back down, as she carefully lowers herself back down. Hardly ever falling noow, as. She catches herself and is very stable getting up, down and around things. Sshee will even hold on with just one hand, bend to pick something up from the floor before pushing to stand back up straights still only with onne hand. Furthermore she is now started to climb so will climb the sofa, manages to get up the little step in he kitchen and in the landing. She attemps the stairs but not quiet there yet.

We all thought that by 9 months she be walking, with how early she was standing stepping and cruising however now she can crawl (very fast too) she is not as keen to walk. She can get to what she wants and stands up all independently. Whereby to walk she knows she needs help. She take a few random steps before falling where she let go of the sofa steped twice and fell but no really walking yet. She walks holding just one hand or as I said around furniture. With her first step walk now she runs, hardly bearing her weight on it, so I truly think it's all confidence. We are still hold her and encouraging her to walk, where she will step between us, taking a step or two before falling into one of our arms. But honestly we encourage her to crawl more, keep her crawling a bit longer because she gets to enough stuff as it is. Therefore we have more time to prepare, move things and make it very safe. So she older and can understand danger more.

It's getting hard with this virus and not being able to go out too much, although things have eased and we been able to see people, there still no baby clubs, swimming, parks or soft play open these are all the things ariyah really needs. She such an active and curious baby so trying to keep her busy with the same old toys is hard. She is bored, we are bored, so any ideas to do with a 9 month old who had a short attention span, puts everything in her month and just climbs please comment with ideas.

Other things that are small but still millstone is that she now completely self feeding, we put little bits on her tray or give her the spoon. She won't let us do it, getting so independent. This means she practicing and getting very goot at her pinch grips. This is where the index and thumb is used to pick up small objects. We give her tiny bits of fruit or pasta so she can grab them and managing to get majority of it in her month. Before she tried but kept dropping it. Her chewing and eating is much better being able to handle lumper and bigger pieces of food. She also uses pinch grips with her toys and started to be able to press buttons with purpose. Again before she just bang and accident press them, now it is accurate. She understands cause and effect that if she pushes or pull something she can make it work, like her pop up toy. If we hid a toy or stack a toy she will lift something or push the tower down laughing. She puts the balls on her ball drop and the rings on her toys. Photos of them below for reference.

She is getting very good at telling us whats she wants, like looking or reaching for things she wants. She has picked toys up, especially bubbles and gives them to us to play with her. She loves knocking things over, playing peekaboo and being tiggled. She very rough and tumble kinda girl.
Another really sweet thing she doing now is dancing. Any music on she waves her arms around and wiggles. If she is on her hands and knees or standing she shakes her bum. We have a google dots which she know where it is, she will crawl over to where it is on the desk, while shouting and dancing for us to put music on. This is so sweet and I'm glad as a dancer myself that she got such good rhymes and loves music. She has always liked music, it's always something that settles her but now we dance around laughing together too.

Most of the day other then her teeth or her little tantrums she laughs and is such a happy baby. She getting a very funny sence of humour, as she laughs at naughtiness, so knocking something over, if I pretend to steal her toy. If we just mess around and be cheeky (slap stick humour) meanwhile she has been throwing what seem like tantrums, she will shout, and kick her legs screaming when we are trying to get her changed, whilst she wants to roll and crawl away. Or if we not quick enough to give her food she has had little meltdowns. Other reasons where she very persistent is when she getting something she is not allowed like climbing on tables, pulling lead/plugs we can't hid, or just general things she can't have. Putting hands in cat  foood or water too. No matter how much we move things, move her away telling her no. She will keep going for it, she is very studdon. We try distracting her with toys and she is not interested, thus will throw herself backwards and cry because she don't get what she wants.

But I'm sure ones she starts understanding more she will calm down, all we can do is keep moving her away, telling her no and distracting her. We have been ignoring her when she screams and she stops because she knows she not getting her way, but when she gets really upset we cuddle and calm her then explain. While yes she is young we beleeive even just calming her and explain why, despite her being young it will help her understanding, as she takes some of it in. Therefore being able learn quicker and not hurt herself.

She is also trying to clap, she will bring her hands together and will clap our hands. She enjoys anything messy, or noise, including banging things together. Also has a weird fascination with ears, our ears and the ears on her teddies. She will play with them. Also she is getting into books. More so the that's not my collection. Where she can touch and feel them. We have quiet a few of them now but the unicorn if her favourite. She remembers where to feel even without us showing her or reading, she will sit turning the pages and touching the senssory bits.

Things we manage to do/wean off, additionally to her new cot, we manage to get ride of the gro-bag that she would not sleep without. Even in 30 degree heat wave we had a few weeks ago. Then also her music from the baby monitor that we had to have playing constantly, has now been dropped in her naps. She still needs it on at night to settle as it helps sooth her back to sleep during the night. But during the day is a start then we will work on turning it off during night. She dropped her milk intake down which she seemed to do herself and is actually napping better since all this. However still waking at night and early in the morning. Dummies went ages ago can't remember if I state that in previous post but she was about 7 months and just decided one day she didn't want it, and has not had it since. We did offer it a few times if she got really upset but she was not interest. We are very pleased with this as Dummies are bad for there teeth what with her having 8 and more coming. Then soon hopefully her reflux settles and we can all get some sleep again.

Cant wait to see what summer brings, being about to get out more, enjoy the sun and see more people. For ariyah to build those bonds with her loved ones as well as other children. For things to get back to normal, where we can take her baby clubs eventually. So here to more milstones, tears, laughter and fun. Let's see what the next month brings.

Few picture of our daughter showing her loved of food and humour.

This photo was from her first father's day and. Second year without Nico. But he was part of the celebration.

(Written in July 2020)

CMPA, reflux and allergies.

 

Allergies and milk update.

I will first explain what cmpa and reflux is, the symptoms, diagnosis and treatments before going onto Ariyah-mai update on her milk, feeding and allegies ect...

Cmpa- cow milk protein allergy

This is an very common allergy to the protein within cows milk this is different from lactose intolence. Cmpa occur before the age of 1 due to the body's own immune defence system, whereby the immune system responds differently to the proteins in cow milk. Causing many symptoms. (listed below.) not all baby's with cmpa get all of the symptoms and can differ on how it effects each baby.

• Rash like hives
• Vomiting
• Ecxma 
• Wind and stomach promblems
• Direah
• Conspiatation
• Heavy breathing (respiratory issues) 
• Coughing
• Runny noses
• Reflux
• Bloating

Lactose intolence has similar symptoms however is extremely rare under 5 years old. It does not involve the immune system its more of a digestive issue involving the sugars in milk not the protein. where an upset stomach is the result of having too much lactose. 

Cmpa symptoms are very similar to reflux and colic, which are also very common therefore could be miss diagnosed as eirther of these when baby is still young especially if your baby is have only a few mild symptoms or delayed symptoms. Therefore it is important to keep track especially when weaning a baby to see if they react to anything they have eaten or from their formula. It can also happen the other way round were a milk allergy is suspected but it may be due to reflux which normally settles around 6 months when weaning or once baby is able to sit upright more. 

Many baby with Cmpa can also have reflux as a result but can be separate by have one and not the other. Early treatment is the same for both cmpa, and reflux. By eirther cutting out dairy from the parents diet if baby is breastfeed, or changing to a hypoallergenic baby formula that can be precripted if formula feed. Symptoms should resolve almost straight away if baby has CMPA however it could take a few days or weeks to get cows milk out of their systems especially if they have started on soilds and it was in food that was eaten. Some baby's can even react just by touching milk produces or if cross conatimation happens, when preparing food. So being very vidulent by ensure sides are wiped and u tensile are washed thurally. 

On the plus side almost all baby's grow out of CMPA, with 40-45% by the time they are 3 years old then 60-85% by the time the child is 5. Unfortunately for a few it can continue into early teenage years. But rare for adults to have cows milk allegy.

Reflux-
This is when baby brings milk back up aka vomiting during or soon after a feed. It happens because babies windpipe is still developing. It means that milk or food can be pushed back up the oesophagus, due to the muscle not being able to shut of the little volve that keeps food or fluids down. It is very common and happens to 4 out of 10 babies. Normally it is mild and does not cause any really issues, it will revolves itself, normally when the babies 6-12 months as there digestive system developed as well as when they start to sit or stand upright. Most babies grow out of it by 1. No medication is needed just some changes to feeding for example sitting baby upright during feeds and for a while after. Feeding little and often instead off large amounts of milk in one go. 

Common symptoms of reflux. 

• Vomiting, spitting up milk or projectile
• Arching their backs and turning head away
• Coughing 
• Crying aand irriablle during and after feeds
• Waking frequently and problems sleeping. 
• Choking or like they have something struck there. 
• seeming to have a sore throat,or ear infections
• Constant hiccups
• Poor weigh gain
• Loss of weight
• Refusing or fighting during feeds 
• Seems in pain or discomfort, especially when laid flat 

However reflux can be very bad when it is caused by a cow milk protein allergy or other allergy which is when it includes other symptoms not just vomiting. On top of those above, these can be cold like symptoms (runny nose, sneezing, snuffly, wheezing, coughing.) along with bloating, trouble winding or constipation. Rashs, blood in stools. So be sure to talk to a gp or health care provide if you feel the reflux needs medical intervention and can not be managed by yourself. 

Ways to manage reflux 

• Giving baby smaller amount of milk in one go, but feed often. 
• Generally burb baby inbetween or several times throughout a bottle. 
• Sit them up more when feeding
• Keeping them upright after they have had  milk. 
• Using gripe water or infocol to help their wind 
• Using salin drops and nose sucker to help relief the cold symptoms 
• Humidifier help too
• Do not do tummy time straight after a feed leave it a few hours. 
• Using anti reflux milk or precription milk if you talk to your gp. 

They say never lift the head of the cot or moses basket but our health visitor told us to and we got a wedge that was a perfect fit to just tilt the mattress in Ariyah-mai's moses basket while she slept and in the pram. This help wonders so it's down to digression but do not use things like books or normal pillows make sure you invest in something design to fit and is safe. Also NEVER put anything like baby Ceral or rice in their bottles to thicken their milk. It can cause chocking, unless it is proper thickener precripted by health professional.

Ariyah-mai's update

Many of you who have followed our whole jounery will know we had difficulty with Ariyah's reflux and milk. If you have not please go back and read my previous posts about it. (https://transdadstoarainbow.blogspot.com/2019/11/reflux-and-colic.html?m=1&zx=303ac60956fcf729

A brief summary of her history is that from a tiny baby at only 2 weeks old she started projectile vomiting, suffered with constipation, bloaty, was hard to wind. She would scream in pain because of her tummy. We used gripe water, infocol, Feed her little and often and burbed her throughout her bottle, this didn't help. She did get rashes a few times as well as having a cold, runny nose or being bunged up and a cough. Without a temperature or actually being ill within herself. We kept getting told it was just a viral infection and respiratory. But they were confused as she never had a temperature or seemed unwell. She weren't sleepy actually the opposite being very alert.

At 8 weeks after hospital stay for vomiting dyhration and rash we were kept in over night. Ariyah had to be tube feed because she lost so much weight and was just vomiting. They finally listen to us and diagnosed her with reflux, possible milk allergy but told to see how she goes. She was put on medication plus given hypoallergenic precription milk. It settles slightly but still had lots of the symptoms above. The cold and cough did get better when we moved our of a damp flat, but she was still being sick alot and had all the tummy issues. Ariyah was put back on her meds. It just wasn't doing anything. Then had a reaction to the liquid form which was a higher dose, so we stopped that. Ariyah got given gavison instead which actually made her worse.

Currently she is on no medication for her reflux it's been about 3 weeks but she started to cough and gag/choke a lot again. However she is not being sick.

This is due to yet a another change in milk. Our Gp after 3 months of moving to kent told us that they can not precription the milk airyah is on which is similac, apprently they don't do it down in kent, it is a London thing she said. However for last 3 months the same gp has been precripting it andd the chemist had no problem ordering it. She has been on simulac alimentum since sshe was 8 weeks old. But now they gave ass nutramigen which is still a hypoallergenic milk. Whilst it's the same thing just a different brand it was alot thinner and had a different taste/smell. Ariyah was not taking well to it at all. She. Was only drinking a few oz, was very unsettled and stopped sleeping through the night.

At 7 months old we finally got an appointment over the phone with a dietitian. When we ran through everything our poor little one had suffered with, straight away she said it was a milk allergy, to cows protein. Therefore she gave us another formula where the protein is so broken down and there was no soya as often that can trigger the allergy too. This has made all the difference.

At first it was hard, because Ariyah-mai h wouldn't drink it. We wean her onto it slowly but adding one scoop first to her old milk so doing 6:1. Each day we drop the old one and added an extra new one so 5:2, 4:3, 3:4, ect.. Until the bottle was the whole 7oz of the new milk. We found that the new formula was so thin that it was not filling her up. She would not drink it all maybe 4 oz at most, due to taste or the thinness. Then she was wanting it more often, furthermore she was waking in the night again. It was not easy she was crying and struggling when drinking. So we were precripted thickener to add to her milk to well make it thicker. This really helped and she is now back to her usual 4/5 7oz bottle with 8 at bed. Although she now will only drink it cold (think this is more due to the weather where it has been so hot)

Her new milk which is neocate with Carobel thickener seems to have settled her so much. She is not vomit at all really now, odd little bits every few days maybe. Her tummy has settled abit. She still get constipated but doesn't seem to be in much discomfort and has not had bad diarrhea like before. We have complety cut out dairy and soya from her diet as advised. When she has had soya we do notice she will get a it little bit of a rash or her ecxma will fleer up.

However as I said we have noticed that she is now choking on nothing, her saliva or coughing more again. She having trouble with finger food or lumper blended dinners that she was fine with before. So another call to the dietitian and health visitor is needed. Nonetheless we noticed a huge improvement in her moods, tummy and just general discomfort. She not being sick, she more comfortable and less bloated. Back to our happy little baby.

Other allergies we think ariyah may havee but just got to keep an eye and check as she gets older is soya and nuts. Soya can be similar reactions to Cmpa because of the way the proteins are broken down. Therefore it's very common that if a baby has CPMA they are also aleergic to soya or wheat. Equally to CPMA most babies out grow these allergies very young, it can also just be a slight intolerance.

Ramdonly her nut allergy is something we are not sure the extent of it or if it was a one off. We had tried all the  other allergic foods

• Fish
• Eggs
• Wheat
• Tomato 

Insep nuts. So the dietitian told us to give ariyah smooth peanut butter. She has the tiniest bit on toast only had half so two finger bits. She seemed fine no imidate reaction, hour later had a nap. And Wass fine. Then arounnd 3/4 hour after we were out for a walk when her handss started to go puffy, her cheeks and bottom lips started swelling. We rang go and they precripted periton saying to just see how she goes. They said it was only. A real concern if she was struggling to breath, going blue and if her top lip or tounge started to swell. By thee time we go to thee chemist to get the medss the puffiness had gone. She seemed fine. So pharmacist said to just watch her and if needed it give her meds but at the moment shee didn't need them. Therefore unsure if it was thhe peanuts and as she only had the tiniest bit it was not a severe reaction but could be worse if she had more. Therefore told to. Advoid it til a controlled allergy test can be done.

So if you suspect your baby has reflux or allergies or whatever it maybe, just push push push. Do not stop til you get answers and solutions. Your baby is important and you as a parent no better then anyone. We are here for advise. feel free to comment what you found has helped or if your suggerling with a reflux baby, we are here to help with mmay tips. We learnt the hard way, with trial and error so we are happy to pass on our wisdom.

On a amazing note Ariyah-mai said dad!! She can say lots of other words too. But finally said dad to us both on different occasions on the same day. Now she none stop dad dad.

(Written in July 2020)

Ref:

https://www.nestlehealthscience.co.uk/health-management/paediatrics-food-allergy/cow-milk-allergy/about-cmpa

https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/feeding/common-concerns/what-baby-reflux-symptoms-and-support