Communication

 Baby talk.

As parents we all wait for those first words wondering what they will be, wishing for either mumum or dadad however there are many other ways in which babies first learn to communicate. Along with ways we communicate to them and respond to our babies needs.

I am going to go through very early stages of communication, from the early crys, facial and body language or little ques babies may do to express a need. Then as they grow babbling leading to words as well assalternative ways, like gestures or sign language that can aid communicate skills and development.

So from the moment babies are born they communicate a need, whether it is for a feed, sleep, nappy change or cuddle. They are communicating. At first it is hard to know what they are trying to express. But as a parent you learn the difference in their cries or moans to disinquish what it is they need. However that may be difficult, like with ariyah it is okay if they do not have different cries and you can't tell what they need, instead just go through them all have they been changed, are they hungry, tired, need a cuddle, in pain, teething, sick ect... It took us a while because ariyah did not have different cryes or ques at all. Still now it's hard but we can tell more. through routines that we have set or now that she is starting to talk, point or sign. Before she whould go from smiling to screaming in seconds.

Other ques on top of crying might show what it is the baby wants, for example rubbing eyes or yawning when tired, or hands in month and slapping lips if they need milk. Then biting or rubbing side of cheeks or ears if they in pain. Again some babies have very clear ques from a newborn however many do not. Ariyah-mai being one of these. She chow her hands or anything she can when she is teething and very moany. Then with her reflux and allergy she aches her back, crying and wiggling when she is in pain but in terms of milk hunger ques she didn't show any. Just would scream in hunger straight away no warning. Again her needing changing we did regularly when we feed her so she was always clean.

It was only around 5/6 months she showed some difference in crys and showing hunger signs before getting to screaming. But more so now as she older, as I said through her routine you can tell when she tired as she rubs her eyes and lays down. She be irrriatble and winy. Then when she hunger for milk she still just crys but again we catch her before that with having a routine. She gets very hunganrgy for actual food tho. She loves her food and will get very grumpy. But she can tell us now by eirther crawling near the kitchen or her bag where snacks are. She does say or sign milk sometimes. Obviously teething she bite on everything cry and chow so that's a clear sign.

Babling
Babling is such an important milestone, as it is where babies first start to learn about sounds, two way conversations and building relationships. Therefore it is even more important to bable back to your baby,. By coping their sounds, making different pitches and ranges with your voice for them to try and mimic back. Also use facial expressions for feeling for them to be able to pick up on tones and moods, within speach. Along with babbling actually talk to your baby, this exposes them to word as well as ryhme of language. Singing is great to teach ryhme and tones for sentences later on. Just talk to your baby, as your cooking dinner, doing chores, at the shop. Explain what your doing point out things that the baby can see and describe them. You might look abit strange walking round the supermarket but it is so virtual for babies development. As they are exposed to so many words, speach patterns and expressions, which they soak in. Their brains are like sponges they listen and watch taking it all in then with start to vocalise themselves. The more you sing and talk and interact with your children the better intellectual they will be.

I must say with my job in special education it something I have training in which is called intense interaction that's based on the interaction between baby and their parents. Then as a parent myself using this skill i do have an advance to be able to truly know the postive impact it will have on Ariyah-mai. That said my one thing, like my pet hate as a parent is when people do not talk to there babies/children. They learn from us and the world around them. The more they are exposed, the greater there chance so just talk, doesn't matter if you look strange or it even makes sense just interact, be there in that moment with your baby is the best thing any parent can do. Does take money, or much time. So please talk interact and build those bonds.

Other means of communication.
Whillst talking to baby is so vital, there are other ways of communicating which are just as important or aid speach which for some people is even more vital. Then others for example if a family member is deaf, mute (can't speak) or has special educational needs/disabilities then other forms like sign language, body/facial expressions and gestures are the only means of communicating. Whereas for others it's just extra ways to aid speach, understand as well as teaching them to be inclusive to everyone. We have been signing with ariyah since she was very young. She understand many signs but can also now sign milk, more and yes. We sign finished and wait she is trying to learn those at the moment.

So the point I am making is interact, talk and just encourage all forms of communication with your babies or children. It's never to late for them to learn to sign, or another language they learn a alot more when they are so young. Talk to your babies, don't be too worried about looking silly. Also reading to them or signing helps them pick up speach, tone, pace and the whole process of sentence structure in order to communicate. They learn two way conversations where listening is just as important as talking. You can never talk to your baby too much!

Ariyah has babledd and spoke from a very young age. We feel this is because we have always talk to her, told her what we was doing, pointing and looking at toys or things, while describing them. We sign, sing and used our face/body language to cconnect with her. So she has been able to let us know what she wants before she can even talk fully. Although she is a chatter box. No stopping her now.

First words- so people class a baby first words differently. As all babies bable and minic sounds they will generally make sounds together that minics a word they hear alot. However at first they have no understanding of what certain words mean it just coping. This is why me and Ben do not count these as first words or any words until she has consistently said it with meaning. Like baby and picked up her doll. Or when we were with her little cousins who is 6 months old, she says baby and stroked her face. This shows she truly know the meaning beind the word. Or when we ask her questions she very clear at saying yes or no. Or more. She looks at herself in the mirror too and says me. She also signs me or more along with the word again showing she knows what the word and sign means.

Ariyah first word was her name ar-iy-ah which she said broken down like that but it was coping us and sounding it out. But then her actual first word with meaning that she said on her own was hiya when we got her up in the morning she waved and said hiya. Dad and daddy came after that. Now she talks all the time.


Words ariyah says:
Yeah
No
Hiya/hi
Byebye
More
Milk
Me
Baby
Dog
Cat/kitty.
Dad
Daddy
Dada
Nana
Wow
Brother whilst look at photo of Nico. This was a specail moment.
Then (brov) thanks to her aunty.

Other random words we think we heard:

Drink
Yum
All gone (cat ran away)
Run a few times
Mj and boy (her cousin)
Duck- quack. Once when we saw ducks
Gi (her cousin)
Said aunty once
Tries to say monkey (lots of teddies/ favourite toy)
Bum pooy (few times when changing her)
There are more but I can't remember.


One hard things being trans daddies is that Ariyah-mai has started babbling mumum which all babies do without it having meaning. She has not really heard the word other then recently with her aunty as her younger 3 year old cousins says mummy. Ariyah did say it a few times and it was hard, us being daddies. Getting asked where her mummy is by strangers or how she came into the world if we are together. So that can be hard as it is trying to explain we are transgender and her dad's. Without her now saying mumumu. We realised that she does tend to babble it when she is frustrated. Then said it when eating so we say yum yum to her. She also says me me me alot when again She wants something or more more, which can sound alot like mumumum.Hopefully she becomes more clear with what she is actually saying but at the moment I think it's just bable. Despite knowing this it still hard to hear when we are male and dad's.

(Written in August 2020)