Development and behaviour

 Possible neurodivergent traits. 

Neurodivergent meaning: Neurodivergence is the term for when someone's brain processes, learns, and/or behaves differently from what is considered "typical"

Neurotypical: is a descriptor that refers to someone who has the brain functions, behaviours, and processing considered standard or typical.

There are lots of disabilities or condition that come under neurodivergent term. Such as. 

• Autism
• Add (Attention Deficit Disorder)
• ADHD (Attention Deficit hyperactive Disorder)
• SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)
• OCD 
• Tourette' s syndrome.
• Dyslexia
• Dyspraxia 
• Some mental health conditions, or personality disorders. 

Ariyah is showing ASD traits. 

ASD is an umbrella term for autism, ADD and ADHD. Which can show in many different way in each person with these disabilities. This is because it is personality based and a spectrum however there are many similarities or traits that indicates is some one as ASD. 

I will explain the traits ariyah has but as I said they can present different in everybody or affect there reactions, and interactions with the world or others differently too. Firstly I will go over other possible asd traits that can present as ASD that ariyah doesn't have the typical traits or development delays. 

So the typical autism traits from a early age are non-verbal or delayed development which is where children may need milstones such as crawling, standing, walking, talking later then typically expected. Also no eye contact not responding to their name, will not play or interact with other peers. Often prefer to play alone or with adults. Other things like stimming is a oviously trait. This can present in many ways but to do with SPD where they are processing sensory input differently. I will go into more detail with this as Ariyah shows sensory issues and stimming separately. 

Stimming – or self-stimulatory behaviour – is repetitive or unusual body movement or noises. Stimming might include:

• Hand flapping, rocking, bouncing, tiptoe walking, shaking head, spinning self or objects, opening and closes doors or switching light switches respectively. Or listening to same noise/song over and over, humming, and repeative speech. 

Those on the ASD spectrum stim for many reasons to manage their emotions, to process sensory input or output. They may do it to calm themselves or when concerntracting. As well as when feeling anxious or uncomfortable as a way of comforting themselves. But for whatever reason it may be they need to stim to self regulate and it should never to stopped or encourage to change these behaviours unless dangerous like head banging or hurting themselves or others then should try and divert into a different way or stim that's safe. Like a chew instead of biting or squeezes and massages can help. Jumping on trampoline or kicking balls to get that frustration and energy out. 

Ariyah-mai's traits and when we first started noticing. 

Ariyah has always be a very active baby, she would never sit still, needed constant entertainment. Even when she was still or asleep she still be twitching in some way, where she tap her feet or wiggle her toes and legs. From a very young ages she was always wiggling. Since about 3/4 months old she was rolling, she even wiggle forward like crawling with her head and pushes off her legs. She sat unaided at 4 months, stood and pulled self up at 5. Cruised and walked holding on at 6 months. Crawled at 7. Then taking steps at 9/10 months and walked at 11 months. She was always on the go from moment she crawled and crushed she never sat still. She didn't play with toys really and needed alot of attention. She nearly babbled or self soothed but was talking and labeling things at 9 months. By 11 months she would spin around constantly, run and had over 50 words. It was obvious she was very advanced and way above her peers. However she was not interested in other children only adults.

 She took ages to eat should foods and very a very sicky baby. This was all put down to her reflux and cmpa. She comfort feed and snacked constantly always seeming hungry but then would vomit. She was on two different reflux meds and specialised milk as well as thickener to help keep it down. It was not until she was over a year old that this settled and she stopped being sick. However still is dairy, and nut free on oats milk, is constantly hungry and eating. She never had constant should bowel movements and still a very sicky toddler. 

She also never slept well. Again this was put down to her reflux. She could never self sooth and still at almost 3 she can't and wakes crying all throughout the night. We had to hold and rock her as a baby due to her choking with silent reflux which is why it was so hard to then get her to not have that need to be cuddled and rocked to bed even over 1 years old. It was not until she was 2 we were able to finally start putting her in bed saying good night and leaving, it took alot and a long time of cuddling at first then laying her down in bed but still cuddling, to hand in her back and singing, to shhing and sitting next to her, then slowly creeping out. We had to do this but by bit until finally it worked. But when she wakes in the night it can still take her a while to go back down. But she is so much better now. She has also been a early riser no matter what routine, naps, bedtimes she still up at 5-6am. Even if we put at parties ect and she goes bed past 10 pm she still up. So not rest for us. 

We knew this was not all just reflux and not normal when we spoke to others with babies with reflux and then when Layton was born and he was an amazing sleeper. From a baby he woke less then she did in the night which was hard having a toddler and a baby awake every few hours in the night in those beginning newborn stage. She a light sleeper to so when he cried or woke she woke up. If we made any noise at all she woke. It was hard to get her to sleep or nap if we was out or if we had people round. Again we thought maybe her being a baby in COVID when it was quiet and just is at home for so long she got used to this but even then she was a bad sleeper. She would only nap on us and we had to rock her. 

We tried everything! Routine, like calm bath, story bed. We limited screen time, we tried milk upstairs in bed, then downstairs with TV. We tried sensory lights, lullabies, night lights, pitch black bedroom, sleeping bags. You name it, we think we cracked it as we try something and she sleep better then we do the exact same and it be back to screaming and waking all night. No matter what we did it never lasted or made a difference. We have others comment how we should leave her to cry and self sooth, but she get into such a state where she hold her breath, choke and was even sick. We could not let her cry it out at all. Not that we believe in the cry it out method anyways. 

The only thing that did make her sleep slightly better was when she decided to take her out at cot at just over a year and put her in a low bed, with duvet and pillow. She never liked being trapped or strapped in prams, high chair ect... I think she felt restricted and she like the freedom. But even now she still does not sleep well at all. 

This was all out first signs that maybe she had something, at first we thought ADHD, with her lack of sleep her inability to sit still, her constantly seeking attention from adults. As she got older she wouldn't play for long and had no concentration at all. We just got oh but that's just toddlers but this was different. As we got older and we watch children her age be able to sit and play with a to, while she just flick between toys, throwing everything, sitting in the boxes or running round in circles it became more oviously it was just a toddler thing.

However again because she was so clever and advanced, her speech was way abrove her age, she followed instructions, answered to her name, had really got motor skills but lacked attention and emotional skills. She were just told by professionals and others that she was advanced and clever. They didn't see the 24/7 constant attention, her inability to wait or have any patients, her tantrums, lack of sleep, pickiness with food, lack of emotional control and sensory needs. 

It was not until she was almost 2 that we then saw traits of autism and started to realise that it was not just ADHD. Our best friend's daughter who 2 years older had ASD and developmental delays. She was one of the limited children ariyah would interact with. As they spent more time together after lockdown and they grow it was apparent how similar they were but different in may ways too, it was meant that now lockdown had eased and we went to more baby groups and met more children ariyah age that we truly saw her traits and uniqueness. 

Also now we are aware looking back of photos and videos all the signs were there but we was in lockdown, she was our first baby. Although me and Ben had both worked in SEND schools and with autistic children it was mainly with boys. And girls and boys can present very different as well as every austic child is different. 

I love the quote 'if you met in person with autism, you met one person with autism' 

Anyways the traits of autism that we now see in ariyah have become more oviously as she grown. She also was so advanced as a baby being above her peers however since 18 months - 2 years she sort of had a regression in some ways but also her development just didn't advanced and now while yes she still very clever her challenges have outshone her and it clear now that her peers are advancing developmentally while she is stuck and they are surpassed her. 

So some of her traits. I will break down in category and explain. 

Sleep- never been good sleeper, still not. She wakes constantly crying and can not express why. She seems to have night terrors and always wakes early. She stopped napping at young age, but went back to napping especially one nights she does not sleep. But can get very emotional and frustrated due to being tired. 

Feeding/eating- never been good, had allergies and reflux. Would and still does comfort feed, as a baby would guzzle milk and feed often and now snacks and eats constantly, but won't eat large meals. She regressed with food as around a year old she was amazing eater, would eat anything however now she will gag at certain textures, she needs food separated on her plate, would eat potatoes, mash, anything slightly squishy, will herve and be sick with certain smells. Had to take the breading off of nuggets, fish ect... She also now starting to chew foods but spit them out. Can't eat skin of things like apples, cucumber, sausages. Will pick and not have attention span for sit for long and eat. 

Speech- was very advanced and would lable things from before 1 she had over 100 words. She spoke in sentence from 18 months and could express her needs. He had exstrestive vocabulary however struggles to answer simple questions. She can follow instructions and her understanding is amazing. She so interesting in the world and how things work and what things are but yet can't also express her own emotions or needs now. She has learnt speech phases and will repeat things this is echolalia. 

echolalia - is when people repeat noises and phrases that they hear. They may not be able to communicate effectively because they struggle to express their own thoughts. For example, someone with echolalia might only be able to repeat a question rather than answer it.

For Ariyah this is were she will repeativly ask the same question even when you have answered her every time. She knows her colours, numbers, letters, animals ect but is asked what colour is this for example she can't answer but if you was to say can you find me a red ball she do it. She struggles with expressing her emotions or needs but can do it. 

 

Motor skills: She has very good fine motor and gross motor, however she will run and jump with no understanding of danger or her own limits, therefore injured herself alot. She spins around but can not stand the tes cups, rides, or car/ bus journeys due to motion sickness. She loves being upside down or thrown around. She tiptoes and rocks too. She still does not hold pencils or cutlery correctly, she can not use scissors eirther.  

Play skills- ariyah doesn't really play, when she does it is respective and learnt playing. Very much adult lead still and she can get very distressed if things are not done a certain way. She has a very particular way of playing and if you try to change that or expand on this she gets frustrated. Her play pretty much is lining toys up, putting things to bed, she say she going park or shop with her baby in her pram but then can not explain or play from there. It goes in circles her baby doll or teddy goes in pram goes shop comes back goes sleep go shop again ect.... 

Or doctors where she throw something and say it's hurt. These role plays are very much mimic from what we tried to play with her or others. She has limited understanding or vocabulary when playing. She only started role playing dressing, feeding, changing and putting a doll to bed after we had her baby brother as she was coping day to day life, that she saw us do. Also I got very sick after pregnancy and had ambulance or doctors round alot taking my blood pressure, heart rate so she then role plays doctors since this. So again real life things she has seen. She more active like being outside at parks or softplays. But even then she will go the same way up softplay to the slide over and over. She won't interact with others unless we know them. And still find it's hard but it's more then interacting first and very adult lead play. 

Emotionally: she struggles alot to process how she is feeling, will have emotional out burst or shut down. When things get too much she can go mute and unable to talk to us or express her feelings, while other times she is hypo aware of others feeling and has empathy with others. If another child is crying or hurt she gets upset for them as if she physical feels the pain. However on the flip side will lash out and hurt us or her baby brother with no understanding that she cause harm. 

She struggles with relationships and what is appropriate behaviour. She is eirther overly friendly or will not go near you. So like she has no understanding of strangers as will will ask to hold or hug strangers hands in the street or shop. She mainly gets attached to adults and crave adults attention other other peers. She does not know how to play or engage with other children especially her own age. As she seems to play with boys more and older kids. She also only really plays or interacts with others who are in the ASD spectrum. This was a highlight to us as she oviously release and has that deep connection that they understand her world and how she is. 

This worried us because she can met someone again mainly adults and be your best friend in seconds, cuddling them and wanting them do do everything for her. Then when it comes to others or children she scream if they go near her, if anyone touches her. She can't share really at all and thinks everything is hers. She gets upset when they are trying to okay as she doesn't understand or know how to play. 

Sensory - This is the big one that made us realise it was not just ADHD. So I will go into more detail. 

Textures. Ariyah has never liked being dressed, she always struggled and ever since she could take her own clothes off she has always stripped. We noticed very young that certain textures like playdough or other messy play she hated and would freak out. I remember halloween being a huge ah moment. She was so excited about pumpkins and became obessed with them, however ones cutting them she really freaked out, not the normal dislike to the inside but full hyperventilating, screaming and meltdown. Even if us or Layton touched it she couldn't stand it and would scream. Then we used a fizzy bath bomb and had the same reaction. But she loved other messy play like foam, hello bath. Other textures came with clothes and food. Like she didn't like tags or certain clothing materials. She had to have soft clothes. She can also be funny with bedding material and has to have a fluffy blanket. 

Food i have explained that certain textures or smells would make her gag or she refuse to eat it. 

Other sensory things were that she loved sensory toys, lights and messy play but could easily become overwhelmed. 

She has pychically sensory needs too like she tiptoed walk from very young. Pretty much as soon as she walked she tiptoed and she still does. She likes to run up and down, spin around and be upside down. However is sensitive to swings, rides or other motions like cars, trains, buses, beanbags. She also loves water but can get very distressed in a swimming pool where she can't touch the floor. It's like the feel of being not in control can really effect her. 

Noise was the big one we noticed even at like 7/8 months. Again at first we put it down to lockdown. As we're were under restrictions were for 3 months everyone was in lockdown in their homes. We only went out to the chemist or doctors appointments. When things started opening up and people were allowed to be outside again, we would talk walks round the block and she would get very startled by cars, or even birds. Again we thought she was not used to these noises. But was we went out more it go worse not better. It became apparent that it was more that lockdown as other children her age who been in lockdown did not have the same reactions. 

But at almost 3 she still is very distressed by noises 

Looking back on photos or videos she can see that she never gives eye contact, if she does it's very quick or she will be looking at our eyebrows, nose or ears. She learnt these techniques to seem like she looking when ask to but it clear to us she doesn't and we no way focus her to now. As a baby health visitor believed she had lazy eyes and was sent for eye screening. They alway can back fine and although she has regular check ups nothing with her sight has ever been picked up. The opticians have comment on her lack of eye contact which we now know is relate to ASD. 

She is so loving in her own way, and is a very clever girl she just has some challenges that with the right support she will strive and we will not let anything get in her way of her happiness and her achieving what she wants. We will ensure she is emotionally support to and gets any support she needs. We will always fight for you baby.