Covid 19- easing lockdown.

 

Conrovirus.

This year so fair as been busy, and is a wierd world to live in right now. While ariyah is young is sad to think I first year of life is so isolating. Whilst shee gets both her daddies home spending lots of time together she is missing out on so much. Simple thing to like doing down a slide, sitting in the park going to the beach and the sea. Then missing out on building those early bond with people. She is growing up fast, all her family are missing it. Yes while there video calls andd we can. Spend photos it's not the same as that cphysicssl connect, hugs, kisses hearing her laugh and seeing her personality. For her she not getting the smell, touch and connection from extended family beyond us. People tell us she young she won't remember or know the difference but as parents and for our family it's heartbreaking to not share all these amazing moments. Her crawling talking ect... Not having any photos of her with other people. Wee will have to. Explain this as she gets older. 

Other things like baby clubs and her being about to be around of children or babies her age. To watch and learn from peers and build those social connections are so important. Yet she will never get that. We been watching baby club and joining in on cbeebies or showing herr video and photos of friends and family so she can at least see other people. Especially noww she is getting older to remember faces and voices. There are a few close friends who we video call regularly and you can see her little face light up when they aree on the screen ass she smiles and chats over the phone. But when there other people we don't talk as much or when out in public, at doctors, health visitor  hecks she crys because she not used to stranger orr people anymore. This is deeply upsetting she was so social and loved being out, seeing people but now sshe doing to be clingy. However oness things settle will we slowly build this up and reassure that it's okay. 

Hopefully as things start easing now she is begining to talk and walk, so we can go out and explore the world. She will be used to this different normal now with people keeping away in the street, crossing over. Everyone walking round in masks and shops social distancing. To the point that if thing ever go back she will be confused when people don't cross over or come close to us. What an anti social world right now to be raising a child. You teach them to be friendly, to share, to be affectionate now that's not the norm anymore or safe so we have to find a balance in all this. 

We are now here in the UK starting to come out the other end of this lockdown. We have stayed home, and kept safe, due to covid19. This horrible virus that has spread across the world,  taking millions of loved ones from people everywhere. It has been scary times for many however the end is in sight. They had eases some rules, more shoppes are opening, people are able to go back to work and some children can go back to school.

People can now meet outside, like friends and family in local parks, or in gardens as long as it is a maximum of 6 per time and social distance is still adhered to. This means keeping 2 metre apart from anyone not living in your household. Many people are unsure about this ease on restrictions because there is a lot of anxiety and lack of confidence in our governments choices. While other are now taking it as lockdown is over, as if nothing happened. They are meeting in large groups not keeping the distance, going round each others houses and having parties. With the heat wave we had at 25° the beaches have been flooded meaning social distancing was impossible and large amount of people were
gathering. Putting others who are following the rules at risk and the country as this increases the likelyhood of a second wave of the virus.

We are sticking to the rules being safe still by staying home, we go on little walks around the block or to the field early when no one is about. We will continue to protect ourselves and Ariyah-mai. We have gotten to see family which was so lovely. Despite being hard and weird having to keep distance from my own dad and step mum. We went for a walk round the field with the dog and Ariyah. The whole time we keep a distance and sat talking from over 2 metre apart. Ariyah luckly is so young she was happy sitting and seeing them at a distance. But did try to crawl to them a few times and we had to sit her back down. Then my mum and step dad came over in the garden, again keeping distance from us. Ariyah was so confused as it was the first time anyone had been in the garden with us. Then the fact they were standing the other side and not able to play with her. She keep trying to crawl over, which was heartbreaak as we had to pick her up and move her if she was getting to close. To have to do that and not let her give her grandparents a hug was horrible. My mum was itching to just give her a cuddle but knew it was still risky.

Although we haven't been out, neither had my mum nonetheless it was still too early. For now it's just nice to see people face to face even at the other end of the garden. In a few weeks hopefully they can get cuddles. Although it is silly when people can go to work, shops like primark are reopening and children can go to school, but families cannot met or give loved ones hugs.

It's crazy when you. Think about it as uss adults find it harder to manage or adapt but the children of today will take it aall in its stride and not know any different. The things it has effected really show the true seririty of this virus. Which will will document in a letter for ariyah to read and learn about wwhen she is older. 

How the world went into lockdown, countries all around. The world closed shops, schools and people where working or staying home. Doctors offices where over the phone or had one way systems in and out with strict access rules. With everyone's temptures being checked at the door, masks worn by everyone, had to be given a certain seat to sit in which the nurse/doctor would wipe down. Were not allowed to touch anything. Then seen out the back door. Shops all had limited people allowed and limits on number of items each household would buy. Clothes shops where closed and smaller business when bankrupt. Takeaways and restaurants where all closed with some being allowed to deliver. Mc Donald's closed then the world went mad queuing fors hours when they opened drive through. Pubs, cinema, sport centre, parks, everything closed. 

Children where being home school but also families came together and actually spent quality time doing art, baking and many activity they normal would noot get time to do. Everyone didd there gardens and houses up to keep busy. TV shows like soaps where cut because they had to stop filming. Some TV shows even filmed and aired via video chat. Like Live host or talk shows.  People all over Were raising money for the NHS for the animals at zoos or farms to keep them feed. For many other chairies or families. Those risskinng there lives like key works, nurse,  doctors, carers, shop or deliver workers, teachers, bus drivers, bin collectors, posties, all got the reconisition they deserved. It was real community spirt at the heart pulling everyone together. 

Lots of other stuff happen in just six months this year. Like the Australian fires in the new years, which spread and killed many and distroded people homes. Then the conrovirus. There were riots and black lives matter protests everywhere at the moment due to police brutality in American, killing innocent black citizens. Following a reason incident where a young black male was choked to death by a police office who was kneeling on his chest and ignored his plee that he could not breath. So riots broke out, protests happened everywhere as everyone stood together to stop this long going rasisum not just from he police but the state and community's too. 

But at least things are settles despite it still being early days, and the end of it all is in sight. The world will never be the same again, I hope for the better. People have come together and realised what truly matters. Wild life and our planet has had time to repair its self from the damage that humans and pollution does. So let's made a better world together, make this horrible virus and the sarrifice worth something. Honor all those who sadly lost their life this year. Fighting for change!

(Written in June 2020)

Where our journey began

 

It's been 2 years.  

So two years ago our lives changed
massively. We saw those words pregnant, 7 times in fact. We could not believe it and had to take so many tests to be sure. It was our first donation, therefore did not expect it to take first time. But after a dream and then the cat being protective over Ben's when I gave him a hug we just knew to take a test and our dreams come true.

As you can guess Ariyah-mai's is only 7 months so I talking about the first time we became dad's, to our angel son Nico. On the 3rd June 2018. Was when we found our we were pregnant for the first time. We were so excited and nervous. But so over joyed until 4 months later that all got taken away.

For those who have not followed our jounery to fatherhood from the begining wee sadly lost our son 16 weeks into the pregnancy. This was due to a bacterial infection that caused premiture rupture of the membrane. You can go to my other blog and read all about our son and what we went through.
https://twotransdaddies.blogspot.com/?m=1&zx=3ffcb31448627d86

It was the worst pain and heartbreak any parents could experience. Ever since those words we have always been dad's, even if our first baby lives in heaven. However now he is always in our hearts and wee can celebrate his life. We get to see his spirt within our daughter everyday. As well as  having an amazing second chance to be dad's.

Two years on and we have our amazing daughter and little sister too Nico. He would be proud of her and us. We did a photo shoot to honor his memory with Ariyah so as she grows we can tell her all about her big brother who guides her. We already show her photos and talk about him. She will grow up knowing she is our miracle our rainbow. That she is not a replacement but an addition to our unquic and colourful family. With two daddies, an angel and her Along with our biological family and Our friends and LGBT+ who have become family. (don't forget all cats and the animals in the family)

Baby boy your daddies wanted you and love you so much, we miss you everyday. You are missed by many others and also in our hearts, thoughts and the spirt of you baby sister. Please guide and watch out for her. We love you x

Our photo shoot. 

(Written on 4th June 2020)

Weaning.

 

Tips and ideas of weaning.

I thought I would write a post on weaning, how we found it and any tips or information about weaning as for many this can be challenging, daunting and confusing. There are lots of information out there telling you want to do and not do, which can make the whole process frustrating for the baby and parents. So want to ease that slightly.

I will state I am not a dietian, nor a professional just a dad sharing experience. So please consultant a health professional with any queries or worries you have. But my main tip first and for most is have FUN.

It a huge milestone and big step for our little ones so explore, have fun and just make the whole process easy for everyone.

The offical guideline are to start weaning at 6 months. Despite this it depends on the baby, many parents would agree. Go with their ques and when they are ready. Check with health visitor (but sometimes they don't always give helpful advice). Our health visitor in London was basically non existent. But since moving she been amazing and a mum herself, which I think makes all the difference. Listen to their guidance, speak to other parents but trust your gut! Only you know you baby the best and what is right for them.

Ques that a baby may be ready for soilds.

• Bringing toys or hands to month
• Watching you as you eat and following food
• Trying to grab your food 
• Starting to wake in the night and wanting more milk
• Baby can hold themselves and sit. 
• Moves objects between both hands and have good motor skills. 
• Makes chowing motions. 
• Will open month when food is offered. 
• If they close there month they are finished. Or look away and not interest. 

Sometime you have to wean early for health or other reasons. For example because of reflux. This was our reason. 

We went against our health visitor because she just didn't really care. But took gp advise and advise from family and friends who knew from experience. As I have blogged abit about Ariyah eating you will know we started weaning at 3 months she was 14 weeks.

We started using baby rice, which we mixed with her precription milk. She ate 1-3 Spoonfulls, once a day for a long time then went to 5-10 Spoons. Sometime once or if she been really sick with her reflux we started give a few Spoons in the morning then a few in the afternoon. From 3 month we also mashed up rusks with her milk, then she would suck on the other half as it melted.

At 4 months she was holding the rusk and eating them, and start to have more flavour. We would give her banana which she actually hated and made her more sick. But she enjoyed Ella kitchen pouches and blended carrots. We quickly moved on to blended pouches because she showed all the ques. She has also been strong and could hold her head up at a few days old, she would push to stand or sit up very young too, she was stand and stepping support by us at 3/4 months. She would grab our food or food off family members like her nannies sauage roll. She was very interested in us when we were eating. Licking her licks, opening her month and bring hands to her month. She could sit up. Support at 4 months so we decided to give her pouch.

Once we moved, she was on boiled and  blended veg and fruit which we did ourselves as well as the 4+ months fruit and veg Ella kitchen. She had just turn 5 months at this point and loved her food. She Would have 2-3 meals a day. Nearer to 6 months we started giving her finger food like cucumber, soft streamed carrots, Brocoli, apple. Which she loved, she would hold them herself. She even got her first two bottom teeth so was able to chow.

At 6 months we introduced a lot more in terms of finger foods, wheat and meat. Though we weaned early there is certain things we waited to give her until she was 6 months. As there little stomachs and digestive systems are not ready for meats or wheat based foods until then. But again she loved trying new food, she would give everything ago. Even today there is not much we found she does not enjoy.

She doesn't like banana still, or peas. But loves Mince, chicken, sweet potato a roast is her favourite or Mince, chicken curry too. She not keen on pasta we tried giving it to her blended alone, then mixed with mince and whole finger size to chow, however she spites it out. We brought some baby pasta from boots which are small shell shapes, making it easy for them to swallow. She seemed to like it but definitely not as much as other things. She likes egg, beans, toast and her oginic snacks (rice cakes or veg sticks.) Ice cream dairy free of course is a treat where it has been so hot and she is teething bad.

Anyways I could go on and on of what she has tried and what she enjoys but we will be here all day. Main thing I am getting at was people say if you start weaning early using purree it can put baby off food, thus also making them stay on blended foods longer and hard to transition to them eating finger food independently. This in our case is not true again from other experience also false. I believe because we introduce food, and different flavours and texture early on she is a great eater. She will feed herself finger food as well as letting us feed her with spoon like beans and her yoghurt. She even takes the spoon now to try feed herself. Which is very messy but fun.

Going back to that fun part, let baby make a mess explore the feel of the food, they may eat some or throw it around and eirther is okay. Touching, play and tasting is all part of weaning and all equally important. Some babies wean and take to food early, other do not and that is okay too. Do not get stressed or force your baby to eat. Introduce new flavours slowly in order for them to taste and get used to different things. Explore with textures, thin blended purree or slightly thinker ones, but go with the baby. If they do not like something hold off and try again in a few weeks then introduce this thing again. Their taste bubs change a lot and it may take time to get used to this new world of eating for your little ones.

Sensory food play is great, to get baby comfortable around the feel, smell and taste of food. Peas and Spaghetti are great yoghurt or baby rice with food colouring makes great ediable paint. There are lots of things you can do. So relax and have fun.

Whilst that being said there are some things to be mindful of:

• Never leave baby or young child alone eating, 
• Always wash hands and surfaces. 
• Do not give baby big bits that they could choke on
• Know the difference between choking and gagging (will talk about this further down) 
• Make sure baby is sat safely to eat, in highchair preferably. 
• Always offer water with food. 
• Do not give babies honey.
• Cow milk can be used in food but not to drink until 1 years old. 

Health and safety

Gagging is healthy and part of the weaning experience where babies are learning how to chow and swallow food. Up until now they use a sucking motion to drink milk however eating require different movements of the tongue and chowing with their teeth or gums. It can be scary but its important that they do this to understand what they can swallow and make them learn to chow. Many parents get worried, I've done it myself where you think the baby will choke or is choke when they just gag. It can be scary., therefore it is important to know the difference between gagging or choking and then what to do if a baby chokes. There are lots of video and first aid training parents can do, so they feel prepared, in knowing what to in event that their babies does choke.

Again this will happen at some point and is very scary. I will go through what to do but also what to look for.

Gagging vs choking.

Gagging normally is noisy, while choking is silent. This is the main thing to remember, if your baby coughs or goes a bit red with possible gag noises. This is all natural and part of the baby development. They have a natural gag reflux, located more toward the front of their month and will bring the food forward away from the back of their throat themselves, having no discomfort or effect. Choking is silent, their ribs will pull in, as they struggle to breath. May start to go blue. This is where baby first aid is important by give back blows and chest compressions.

Baby first aid for choking.

If you baby is choking NEVER put you finger or anything in their months you could lodge the object further in. Instead follow these steps, as seen in photo below.

Place baby down on your lap, front ways on with their head down. (see on photo) then give 5 sharp blows to their back just between the shoulder blades. If this does not dislodge the object. Turn them over facing up and give 5 chest compress with two finger in the centre of their chest between rib cage.

NEVER give month to month for choking! 

So with that said there are lots of way to avoid choking and gagging. 

1. Do not leave baby or toddle unattended whist eating. Professional suggest right up to age 3, even better 5 and above alone with food or drink. 
2. Cut food into small manageable piece. 
3. Cut grapes lengh ways, 
4. Make sure food is in long stick piece for your baby to hold themselves and is big enough to not get stuck. 
5. Boil hard fruit or veg to make them soft. 
6. Make sure pips, stones, skin is off fruit and veg. Also that their no Bones or grissle in meat or fish. 
7. Use baby milk to blend or mix up foods
8. Ensure baby is sat upright, strapped into their highchair safety.

Types of weaning. 

There are two main types of weaning tradition and baby led.

Traditional also known as spoon feed, is just that, when a baby is spoon feed. Starting with smooth blends, building up to thicker blends and textures. Until the baby can eat whole foods.

Baby lead is where finger food is introduced straight away and the baby feed themselves.

There are pros and cons to both, which I will not go through them all as you can read alot online. but ultimately it come down to your preference and how the baby is. Do not let anyone tell you your doing it wrong or force you to go with a certain method. Baby led weaning is favoured by many and I know for myself on many groups and forums if you don't do baby led your made to feel like your doing wrong by your child. That it's the only way. But in fact sometimes babies do not take to feeding themselves therefore the tradition way works best. It could then led to baby led or not. But as long as the baby is getting nutrition, is calm and not stressed by weaning that is what matters.

We started with traditional as we had to start weaning Ariyah early she Was too young to self feed. We started spoon feeding, then around 5 months gave her soft boiled carrots, apple and pear. Also the bit melts veg stick. Due to her reflux as well as possible milk allergy it was hard because we had to be carefully what we were feeding her. She need the extra nutrition because she was not having big bottles and eat little and often. So was better for us and her to start with puree then built up to her self eating some stuff. She is an amazing eater not fussy at all. We did find however due to her love of food sometimes she get frustrated because she could not pick a bit of food up or she wasn't getting much. Where as when we spoon feed her she got more. We could keep an eye on what she ate and how much. Where as when she had finger food most of it ended up on the floor. She then got frustrated at us feeding her because she is so independent, she would grab the spoon and try feed self. Which she can do now. So we now combined ffeed, meaning she will have finger foods and some spoon feed stuff like her dairy free yogurt, beans and meat blends  that we feed her.

We have like I said above had people tell us we can't combine feed and it will confuse our daughter, that she choke because she won't know how to chow. That she be fussy and not eat well. However we experienced the opsite she loves her food. Ariyah will try anything and will feed herself and allows us to help (most of the time) this make it easier if we out or on the go, to use Ella kitchen pouches. Then she can also feed herself and we can all sit and have meals together. Just means we sometime have to change what we have due to her dairy allergy.

For baby lead weaning, cut food into long stick shapes which is easy for baby to hold and eat. 

So remember have fun, find out what's best for you and your baby, take advice but do not feel forced to do it a certain way. Be cautious but just enjoy and don't forget to document all the different tastes and textures your baby loves. 

(Written in June 2020)

Ref:.

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/x25022988/what-is-the-difference-between-gagging-and-choking

https://www.bounty.com/baby-0-to-12-months/weaning/what-is-weaning/baby-led-weaning

6 months ! Half a year

 

Almost 7 month!

Where did the time go? How is she so big?

It is crazy how fast time goes, It feel like not long ago we where bringing this tiny premmy baby home. Been sorting out photos, to put up around the house, and her album. She was so tiny and now she is this cheeky, smart little human who is developing her own independence and personality.

As Ariyah-mai approached 6 months we were realising that in just half a year she will be one, that we would not have a baby for long as she will be toddling around. Well she will always be our baby even at 40+ years old.

To celebrate her 6 months we did alittle photo shoot. She seemed to be in great spirt for it. We then baked a little cake dairy free for her, however she did not really eat it. We did lots of messy play, sensory stuff and general playing that we do every other day. It was lovely weather so we did go for a walk and spent so time in the garden.

Another celebration that she was now 6 month and allowed different foods. While we had been weaning her for over 2 months there are certain things like meat, pasta, bread, yogurt that they should hold off until 6 month so the digestive system can handle it. Therefore we decided to have her first proper meal as a family. Me made her Spaghetti Bolognse. This was our favourite meal and was my first as a child too. We sat outside in the sun and ate together. She loved the Mince however was not keen on the pasta. She just spat it out, she enjoyed feeling it and playing with it instead. Which is all part of exploring textures and tasting too.

We have tried pasta a couple time since, both finger food, and blended with Mince as well as separately she spite in out every time. So we will try again as she gets older but it is one food along with bananas and peas she does not seem to like. Despite these she enjoys a lot of other things, she loves food and is a great eater. Which we are thankful for. Ever since we weaned early and now she is having three full meals, plus snacks she was gained weight. Almost catching up with her birth age. On top of this she is less sick because it settles the reflux. We have had to play around with times of milk and soilds to get the right routine to prevent her vomiting which I think we have got it right for now.

It is also improved her sleep by eating more and being in a routine. I did post previous our daily routine in the blog about sleep so please take a read.

Now Ariyah-mai is almost 7 months she is starting to get such a  cheeky personality, she giggles and laughs so much, along with being grumpy with teething and frustrated because she wants to be able to get herself around. Ariyah has always been a very happy baby depite all her challenges and change that happened, with her reflux, cold, hospital trips, traveling, my surgery, moving house. There has been a lot happening in her short time on earth for such a tiny baby too. But she is so determined and such a fighter.

Her cold has gone completely. Ever since moving she has not had a cold or cough, her breathing has settled. it been a relief, no longer waking up scared throughout the night having to prop her up because she struggled to breath when laying flat or would vomit and choke. It was scary for us and her. Thankfully we have not had any of this, goes to show the impact of a damp Property. She still coughs and vomits now and then and had a few episodes of choking on her milk due to silent reflux but normally during the day. It helps she is able to sit up, to clear it herself. We also think she may have hayfever or allergies, as now we have got the garden she does sneeze or rub her eye when we are out there. Sometimes she come up in red ezxma patches from the grass. But is does not effecting or bothering her. I have heyfever too, so very common.

So we have been spending lots of time just playing really, building that bond, besides  just watching her grow and develop. It has been such a great time Because I was due to go back to work after 3 month off for surgery. During this time with the virus, thus the UK being on lockdown meant I could not go to work, furthermore allowing me more time off to spend with Ariyah and Ben. Whilst it is hard we can not go out and do all the things we planned for her, such as going to baby groups, swimming, the park or beach. Including can not seeing family or friends which is the hardest part. They are all missing her growing up. But the positive thing is I am here and I am not missing anything.

I had sad moments especially when days have been tough like Ariyah not sleeping, or screaming due to her teeth. Her being fussy overtired as well us us both being tired and run down. Or on really great days where Ariyah does something that I want to share. These time make it hard that we can not see people we love, to not be able to share Ariyah-mai with. Whilst there social media and facetime it is not the same as her getting to see family and building relationships with cuddles and love. She now at the age that she is remembering thing, but won't know or remember her own family. Wil just know us.

We do worry she be anti social and clingy now because of this, butt all. We can do is showw her photos, call family and talk to her about people so she will know who they are. Then when things are back. To normal to reassure her when we out or when we start seeing people.

Millstone.
Othen then just getting big. She growing so much. She is so tall and finally catching up with her age. She is now 67cm tall and weighing around 17lb. (we have small scales and been measuring her ourselves) she is starting to go into size 6-9 month clothes. Mainly dresses due to her lengh and sleepsuit for her big feet and long legs. While other 3-6 things are still massive on her.

She in a better routine, drinking water and baby juice, eating more soilds and getting better with her sleep. She has done a few nights where she has slept all the way through. Also she is nappying better in the day. But again we do have some bad nights too.

She loves her food and we have given her lots of different thing to try. Somme treats too like vegan ice cream for the hot days and to help her teeth. She had roasts, cottage pie, burgers, sauages, chicken. She even starting to chrow andd be able to handle bigger bits. Ariyah is so independent and will now not let us help her eat. We put it all on her tray andd she helps herself. When we have to help she pushes our hands away grabbing at the food. Even now taking the spoon off us and feeding herself. She gets excited and will shout for more.

Another main one is getting herselve around, she is so deseparate to just be on the move. She is trying so hard to crawl. She is now up on her knees and hands, rocking and pushing forward however is yet to get very far. She needs to work on moving her arms to craw, instead of just rocking and loaching forwards. She will now hold on to us or something to stand herself up. She stands at the sofa and steps sidewards a little. She also climbs all over us and the sofa. But she does get frustrated because she can not just go where she wants. She gettibing very fast in her walker, as well as learning to hold and step with her other walker. She loves being on her feet, whether it is in her walker, jumperoo, door bouncer, standing holding onto something, walking holding our hands or we hold her waist for balance. I will not be long before her first steps.

So we are now busy baby proffing the house, the baby gate is on the front room door, lock is on the kitchen door. Got to stick edge things on all the corners and side of table, TV unit and fireplace. Then later getting locks for the kitchen cupboards. As when she is in her walker in the kitchen (us watching her off course) she thinks it's funny to try open all the cupboards. Also she tries to pull at the bin.

Here chatting and babbling I think has be a key development this month. She is talking and laughing all the time. She got a range of different sounds she tried to make. She great at having a lovely back and fourth conversation in babble now, which is lovely. She just so happy chatting and being silly. Like I said especially with her cheeky humour. She loves being held in the air, tingled. She likes when we blow raspberries on her tummy, or cheek and she will try do it back. This week we have been getting lots of sounds like yeah and no. As she starts learning how to respond when we talk to her. We try with dada but she laughs back like she knows what we are trying to get her to say. We think we heard it once but can not be sure if it was an intentional dada or just sounded like it. But she definitely says her name. We generally say her name alot, when talking and playing with her. Plus with this lockdown when we facetime family they say her name a lot. Me and been use her name more then pronouns when talking about her so it is probably one of her most heard words. Anyways I was playing, by bouncing her on my knee saying her name broken down.
'
Ar.. iy.. ah.' 

She sounded these back in the same way breaking it down and smiling. Now everytime we do this she miminic back now sometimes we say ariyah in full when calling her and she say it back and laughs. It's became a little game and she loves it. We also use the mirror to be like where is ariyah show herself in the mirror saying there is Ariyah, 'It is you'. I then get her to sign me in the mirror. Being like 'here is ariyah say me' . This enables her to understand that she is saying her name and to know who she is. We also do the same with dada, in the mirror and she just laughs. As she now understand that it's a reflection and we are sat with her.



She just so clever and happy bbaby, with her odd moments in the day of tired grumpiness. But in general she laughing, loves a cuddle and to climb on us, pull our hair and my glasses. She very chatty, social, she rather play with us then with her toys or watch Tv. Which is great just exhausting for her daddies. As she just always wants to step and walk, now. She has starting to dance and bop along to music. She just on the move very active and alert baby.

Can't believe she is 7 months tomorrow, let's she want the next month brings, as she starts moving more, Wish us luck!

Photo

(Written in may 2020)

Sleep

 

Sleep patterns and strategies.

There are many different idea out there around sleep training, what's best for the babies and for the parents or other siblings. There is also a lot of competition or stigma around sleep when becoming a parent.

Instead of criticising, we should be helping each other. Realising that ever baby is different therefore what works for some does not work for other. We personally have felt this pressure. I want to share with you the trouble we had and how we faced that.

Ariyah has never been a great sleeper, even as a newborn. Yes she slept as at first babies spend a lot of their time sleeping. However she suffered badly with a cold which would disrupt her sleep. She would be all sniffy which made it hard for her to breath when she was laid flat. Also being premmy she needed feeding every 2 hours. By the time we feed her, changed her, calmed her, she  was due a feed again.

This is where it first start, so heard the saying never wake a sleeping baby. Well we were told the opposite. Because she was premmy and only weighing 5lb she needed to be feed first every hour in her first week of life, then went to every 2. She also was jaundice which meant it was important to keep feeding often in order to flush out the extra bilirubin that was produced, which causes the jaundice. Jaundice makes them sleepy and not wake for feeds. So we had to wake her up. Along with this she suffered from colic due to reflux, which meant again we had to feed little and often.

While she may have slept, her daddies didn't. By the time we made her bottle, changed, feed and calmed her down. We had to beginning preparing her next feed which did not leave us much time to sleep at night or do anything during the day. Lucky me and Ben had a routine, where he would sleep after dinner at 7ish til 1am. So il do that time then he take over til morning when I slept. This worked so well when she was young, and I went back to work.

But with the reflux and colic she would scream for hours thus keeping us both up. No one believed us and it cause a lot unsettled disburbed nights. You can read about this in a previous post.

Moving on from that as she got older it slowly started to get better however with the reflux we had to hold her upright after her feeds, leading to her falling asleep in our arms. Now she has got used to it, thus that is what she expects. It comforts her to feel safe and allows her milk to settle.

Now she getting heavy and so big its hard to stand a rock her with you are my sunshine (her song she has to have). We have to play it on repeat while standing up rocking her. We have started to try and put her down to self sooth but only had a few success.

Sleep training or methods. 

As I said there are many but these are the two main ones, which I will talk though and our thoughts on them. Then touch on what we have been doing how it works or doesn't work.

1)- Cry it out method.
I'm sure everyone heard of this. This iis a method that is done to allow a baby to learn to self sooth. There are many variety of this method. Butt the main idea is the put baby downto sleep while awake and leave them to fusss or cry til theey are asleep. Somme people will go in to provide the baby with comfort about a variable amount of time by just placing dummy back in or shhhhh. Then then leave the room and repeat til the baby is asleep. Pprefessional state that this should only be done once a baby is over 4 months or ones they are sleeping though without needing a feed. To be able to make those connections and self sooth which out stressing them out as a newborn will need comfort.

https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/crying-it-out.aspx

There is mixed idea around this method from many people as well as professional. Mainly on the impact to the babies development due to stress levels that can cause a baby to feel unloved or abondaded,  if left to long to cry. Where as also getting a baby to self sooth is a great development skill at the same time. Causing less long term stress levels. Thus there needs to be a balance.

2) No cry method
This is also to develop self soothing, with comfort. There are other names like chair method or shush and pat method. But ultimately you rock and comfort your baby until they are almost asleep, just drifting off before placing them down. Then stay near, eirther in eye sight or just out of view but so they know your still there. Some people start right beside the baby then move further away until they can gradually put the baby down and leave the room. Then when the baby crys first comfort without picking them up, with shushes, singing their favourite song. Stoke or rubbing them, whatever calms your baby. If they cry and get inconsolable then pick them up gently rock and place back down. Repeat until they are asleep. This is a fased method and again can be interpretated in different ways, which is best for individual babies and parents. It still provide comfort and reassurance, while teaching babies to self sooth.


There are other methods that steam from this, but ultimately it should come down to what's best for the baby and you. Do let other tell you how or what to do. We had it many time feeling pressured to just let her cry it out. People would state 'your picking her up to much'. But we just did what Ariyah needed us to do.

How we felt as parents.

Me and Ben have never agreed with cry it out method, personally we feel it is not right for us or ariyah. I have read and research about the science behind leaving a baby to cry. Because yes while they learn to self sooth it is through stress. Instead they learn that no one is coming to comfort them so they cry themselves to sleep. It has been researched to have lasting effects to the the development of the pathways in the brain which can then lead to anxiety and mental health later in life. Leaving baby to feel unloved or abandoned. Then after losing Nico we could not sit back and listen to her scream or get so upset.

Adding to that when Ariyah-mai was born, it was clear that would of not worked even if we were going to try. Reflux and cold being one but also she gets so upset, working herself up to the point int she would hold her breath or choke. That's with us holding and calming her. Let alone if we even tryed to leave her to it. She would grab onto us and snuggle in our arms.

So our method since being settled after moving, her being in her own room is the no cry method. We rock and sing to her until she almost asleep, before placing her in her cot. If not we try settle her in the cot by sing her song or with shushing noises. We rub her chest and stroke her face which she likes. But as soon as she crys and gets worked up we pick her up, to comfort rock her until she is calm, then put her back down again. Furthermore repeating this until she is down. Sometimes she falls straight to sleep, whilst other times it can take ages, with several time in and out of the cot. But she is getting better each night.

How Ariyah has slept from birth

So from birth we held her and rocked her to sleep, mainly because of her reflux, colic and her cold. This meant she then relied on us to settle her. This is very hard moving forward, to then teach a baby to self sooth. Which we experienced first hand.

Once her refflux settled a bit we did put her down more, she would always wanted to be held. But it was taking it's toll when she wouldn't sleep or nap in the day unless we held her, rocked her played and played her song. Then once she was asleep we had to hold her, or she be wide awake again.

This was not what we planed but was not under our control, we did what she needed. Meanwhile trying to start puting her down more to get used to it.

Now she is six months and we still struggle with her sleep. She has never had much of a routine. With us traveling a alot, me having surgery, then us moving there was always a lot going on. She wouldd usually sleep in the pram when we were out and about. At night she was still waking ones or twice for feeds. But generally slept okay.

Then we moved. Obviously this was a new house, environment and everything had changed. She was now sleeping in her cot. Also we were noot able to go out due to lockdown with the current epidemic so she did not get those naps in the pram as usual. While putting her in the pram up and down the garden helped sometimes or in the house but was not the same, because as soon as we stopped rocking the pram she would wake up. If we tried to put her down she wake instantly. Even if she was in a deep sleep, the moment we placed her down it was like a switch. She wake or if we manage to get her down she wake very soon after. This meant her naaps during the day were no more then 30-45 mins. She then got overtired and grounchy which effected all of us. So we had to let her fall asleep and lay with on one of us on the sofa. Leaving the other to tidy or do chores. We would switch each time to take turns.

This was okay for now because we were on lockdown, I therefore was not at work. There was no rush for things that urgently to get done. However we knew we needed to try and get her to seetle being put down so a we could spend timme as a couple. Also so she then did not get used it and forever rely on us. But the fact everything was new and things were confusing and unsettled we knew it would take time. Sometimes we she would fight her sleep which is something again she had always done. But the bigger she got the hard it was, as she would scream waving her arms and legs to stay awake. She knock her dummy out, try sit up and even push or hit us away. But then would scream, grabbing us, to be held if we put her down. We felt very defeated and at a dead end. At times it took hours settling her, rocking or singing, for her to then sleep 30 mins. It was exhausting for everyone.

At night she was not too bad, woke a few times and would wake up for a feed between midnight and 2 am. Before waking up at 5:30- 6:30. On the odd occasion she slept all the way through from 7:30-6:30 but was not regularly. So she is yet to get to a point where she sleeps through the night really.

Then throw teething it to the mix, does not help.  We also think she was doing through a growth spurt as her feeds were changing and as she was eating more solids.

But she is getting better, her naps are longer most of the time over an hour. Not fighting as much and will fall a sleep to nap after a bottle. We also can put her down in her cot or pram to nap as well. Then sleeping at night can be off and on we have good and bad nights.

We found that routine was key. Finding a routine that works is really important, especially at bedtime. We have made sure that Ariyah-mai's bedtime routine has always been the same. It was her day routine we struggled with. She would change her amounts of milk, when she had it and when she napped. It was hard to work out what was best. We now figure that it is better to give herr breakfast before milk as it settles her reflux and stomach otherwise she is sick all morning. We also workedd put that she napped better and longer in the late afternoon. That way she was also not over tired meaning she settle better at night. If sshe woke during thee night we would not turn any lights on, we would not talk or play with her. No matter how wide awake she was or how long it took to re-settle her. We would just rock her, sing or play her music until she was back to sleep.

Routine.

Our current routine that we are finding is really working (it took a long time, with lots of trial. Aand error to get it right ffor her)

Wake up 6-6:30. Go down upstairs for quiet play. Sometime 2oz off milk if she has slept through.

7am: medication for reflux

Half 7-8: breakfast, (soilds)

8-:30. She can sit andd play in her chair or on sofa a with us. Some timme wee put some cartoons on (this is before of herr reflux we have to keep her upright andd still for 20-30 mins after milk and eating. It is not easy now she older.

8:30-9am: Get dressed and play in her room.

9: sometime more playing or a little walk.

9-9:30. Milk and will fall asleep. Nap around half hour

10-11:30. Once awake we play, try do art or an activity, or go in the garden when it's nice.

11:30-12pm: lunch. Finger food. Followed by trying to keep her upright again. Sit and playing with her.

12:30- 1: milk and another nap (sometimes)
More garden or walk if she needs to nap and is fighting it.

2-4/4:30. Lots of playing, will have fruit or crisp as a snack around 3.

4:30pm- more milk and longer nap. 1-2 hours

6-6:30 dinner, family meal all together.

6-:30 TV time, in the night garden and bedtime stories.

7pm bath, wash down, pj and story.

7:15/7:30pm. Last bottle and bed. We try make it to 7:30 however sometime if she not lapped long enough it's closer to 7. Will go down for the night.

Sometimes will wake between midnight and 2ish for a bottle but most nights now sleeps through.

Sleeping in her own room 

However as of 2 weeks (Friday 24 April) at 6 months and a week old we transitioned her into her own room. We had painted and decorated it all for her. We started by playing up there in the day to get her used to being in the room. Then we put her down in the cot for her first nap. Before putting her to sleep that night. It was scary, but needed to be done. We needed our room and space and she needed hers. One reason was when we came up to bed or if we moved or went toilet in the night it would disturb her and sometimes wake her. She started sleeping through a few nights or only waking to be feed and going straight back down. So it seemed the right time.

I think it was more scary and unsettling for us. I stayed up watching the camera most of the night. It was weird not hearing her breathing for the last six months she been there. But she was okay. We are almost 2 weeks in and not doing too bad.

1st night she went down at 7:30 was slightly unsettled at 11:30, but feel back after a cuddle. Then at 1:30-2:30 she just didn't want to be put down so I sat holding her in her room, but after milk at 2:30 she then slept until 5:30. She had a cuddle with us in bed, before all getting up. Second night she was a bit better only waking twice. Then she is now starting to sleep all the way through, occasionally waking for a extra feed or she figet have a cry but by the time we have gone in she has put herself back to sleep.

So we will let you all know how the next few weeks go. As I said do what's best for the baby and your family, don't let others tell you want to do. It is okay if your baby isnot yet in a routine or has bad nights it is normal for them to wake during the night especially in the first year. So just know we are all in this together parenthood is hard, tiring and that is okay. We can help eackther. If you have any tips or struggles comment and I'm sure we can help one another or you maybe you are able to help someone else.

Photos of her bedroom.

(Written in may 2020)

Covid 19- epidemic 2019/2020

 

The world fighting a virus.

So COVID 19 or cornovirus as most people will know is this new type of flu virus that has spread around the nation. It is a national emergency and has infected trillions of people around the world and has large fatalities.

Sadly millions of people have lost there lives to this virus already, with the number increasing hitting over 15,000 in the UK so far. We not even over the worst yet.

So life as we knew it has changed drastically. It is a scary and worrying time but also I feel it is teaching humanity many valuable lessons. I will talk though what has been going on, what has changed, how people have reacted or followed government / medical advice. How we coped as a family and my hope for the future getting out of this at the other end. Beating this virus!

So firstly some facts. It is believed to have started in a city in China called Wuhan, at a fresh food market. These market sell and cook live exotic animals like bat's, snakes, ect... Scientists suggest it came from a bat species however past onto humans via another animal like a snake. There is not much known or any real evidence to know exactly how, where or when this all started.

It started a global panic in early January but believed it was actually around since December even November. Again they do not know or have any evidence to know exactly when it begin. There are rumers that doctors in China were warning people about this deadly virus in December however were told they were spreading rumers and threatend with imprisonment by the Chinese government. There are many suggestions and rumers this virus is man made, that got way out of control. I am not suggesting anything just giving knowledge that I know about what been going on.

It hit Britain in February /early March and spread in many other countries. The government here in the UK were in my opinion not quick enough to react. They wanted to try slow the spread and just wait and see. However as more people got infected, those of whom started to get really ill needing critical care in intensive care unit at hospital. Then when large amounts of people sadly were losing their lives to this virus,i when the government stepped in. However people had already started to panic, while others still do not believe how serious this was.

At first not many people really took it seriously. In the early days of feburay march we didn't really, it made no change to our day to day routine. We where being more careful when travelling on public transform, by walking more. Avoiding tubes or trains with ariyah. But we had to travel to view houses, I had job interview and we were moving.

The government just said people had to social distance meaning to stay 2 metres apart, wash your hands and be careful. They stated if you had symptoms then you must self isolate.

Symptoms

What we know so far is that many people get really sick while many other may get mild or moderate flu like symptoms which is why it's hard to completely tell who has it or not. In addition people can be carriers where by they get the virus but do not get symptoms therefore go on to spread the virus to many others without knowing.

Main symptoms are:

• Persistent and dry cough
• Fever over 39
• Aches and chills
• Chest pains, difficultly breathing 

 Other more mild symptoms:

• headach
• Sore throat
• Vomiting
• Snessing
• Dirreah
• Loss of taste or smell.

Social distancing and self isolation.

This means to stay at home, away from other people and the public. To not gather or have large events. They started cancelling sports events, weddings, concerts, any big event with large amounts of people in early march.

Everyone who was vulnerable or had any symptoms had to self isolate for 7 days or 14 if living in a household. They started ordering anyone who had any symptoms to stay home not to go to their gp or a&e but to call 111. They tracked and test who had it and who they may have been in contact with to prevent and minimise infection rates, thus stop the spread of the virus.

However as more people became ill and the UK saw larger rates of infections, also sadly having fatalities, the government started to loss track of those who were infected. Testing was stop, unless you were hospitalised, due to the lack of test/equipment. More warnings and restrictions happened, for example reduced trains, tubes and buses. Then slowly more things closed like cinema, swimming pools, restaurants and pubs. Until all non essentials shops or business we're forced to closed. School were shut.

Fast forward to today. We are thankful we did move as the UK like many other countries is on lockdown. School were closed for most children other then very few who parents were key workers or who had sen needs or who had social care involvement. Now all schools are not due to open after Easter hoildays for the forthcoming months. Everything is closed. The government have put restrictions in place however not everyone is listening meaning there is still risks this all will therefore take longer to stop the spread and defect this virus.

The death total is now 15,464 (18/4/20) with over 100,000 testing positive but they suspect even more as those being test are only people in hospital. Or being admitted with symptoms. Mass public testing is still yet to happen. Therefore could be much higher rates.

So yes we are lucky to have moved to a house, with a lot more space. We got settled and got stuff we needed before this got worse. We also now have our garden which has been amazing considering it been such nice weather and we can not go out. If we were stuck in the damp flat, no garden, living in our front room I don't think we would have coped. It's difficult being coped up in door now let alone if we didn't have a garden and all this space. I feel bad for all those and their kids stuck in flats.

What does lockdown mean:

Lockdown is different in many countries around the world. Some countries like Italy, France and China it is enforced by law. You need a piece of paper signed and dated to allow valid reasons to leave. Only for essential like getting food or medicine. Police are on patrol and can fine or assest people for breaking these restrictions.

However in the UK, we are on lockdown, it not as strict- school are closed, non essential shops closed, business closed, people working from home instead. Only key workers sholud travel and go to work. Gp are mostly only phone appointments unless necessary like me and Ben having hormone injects. But we would get screened before entering. However compared to other countries it is just less controlled here. As it is not full enforced by law. This is mostly because of how our government works as well as just not enough police to truly enforce as of yet. This could change.

So since the 23rd of March we were all order to stay home only leaving for these reasons:

1. Essential food shopping
2. Collecting medicines 
3. Exercising once a day (walking the dog)
4. Traverling to work if necessary and are a key worker. 

Who are Key workers? 

The government states anyone who is on the front line fighting this virus who are essential to fight this desease can still go to work if well. So nurses, doctors, NHS staff, careers, delievery drivers, shop and supermarket workers, food distributors, bin men, postal services, teachers and school staff, those contractors doing emergency works like plumbing, gas and water maintenance. Ect... 

Vulnerable people are being identified and shielded from this virus, this means they have been ordered to stay in doors for up to 12 weeks, not going out less really need to. Others in the community are then coming together to help those vunerable, by collecting medicine or food for them. Those   who are over a certain age, (60) who have pre existing health contiditions such as diabetes, lung conditions, asthma, any thing that means your immune system weak eg.. Cancer, pregnancy, illness. Has be ordered to stay home and self isolate for 12 weaks.

I fall into this category as I have asthma, yes it is not serve but I have been in hospital less then 2 years ago on drip and steroids due to my chest. I get bad chest infections because of my asthma and have to go on steroids. Plus with Ariyah-mai being so young, the fact she was premiture and already suffered a lot with colds. We are not risking anything.

I am a key worker but lucky my new work place are so understanding and have advice I stay home too. Which is amazing that they understand. I am also lucky I get full sick pay to be off. Again luckly we moved and I got a job just before all this happened. I was due to start on Monday 23 March which happened to be the first day of lockdown. So I did not start but am employed which meant I get paid thoughout this pemedemic.

This is not the case for many others and a reason lots of people are really struggling, then not listening and still going to work. Especially in the early days of the out break because the government had not put things in place financially to protect everyone. Those self employed or on zero hour contracts where not getting paid. Along with lots of people lossing their jobs due to business having to close. There has been a few thing put in place now however not fully. People can apply for benfits but this is over loading the service, taking staff weeks to sort through thousands of new claims, while working from home themselves or with limited staff in job centres. 

This is a hard and horrible time for most of us, however we will all get through it. Although many people are still not listening, people are still going out, meeting friends, gathering, sunbath and well just breaking the restrictions put in place to protect us. Many people have stock piled, brought items to then sell for ridiculous amounts to profit from this national crisis. It is impossible to get supermarket home delivery. Store are restricting items as well as how many people enter the stores at once. Leading to ques outside, people having to stand two metres apart. In some case has caused fights. 

Stock piling why? 

Many people panicked at the beginning, hearing that vulnerable people or those with symptoms had to self isolate and stay in doors. People thought that they could be ordered to do the same therefore started buying food and cleaning products in bulk. Everyone went a little over the top, buy up all the toilet roll, pasta, hand sanitiser. Cleaning products. 

You could not buy cleaning stuff, pasta, beans, nappies, wipes, baby formula anywhere. The more stricter shops became the more people panic brought. Even going to the hassle of buy a second fridge or freezer. People were buying essential items then selling them on ebay for extortionate amount, just to make money off people in need. One of the main things was baby formula. This is normally around £10 for standard tin. However because it was hard to get hold of due to people stockpiling it, other took advantage. Buying it to sell for hundreds of pounds online. Some as much as £300-£400. As people were desperate, thus paying that amount just to ensure there baby had milk. This is disgusting there one thing selling toilet roll for more but baby milk when it's a baby life source is beyond inhuman.

Thankfully we have precription milk from gp which is lacose free. We had enough tin's as well as being able to get more once we moved and registered at the new gp. We managed to get other bits we needed with the help of my mum. Admittingly we did struggle a little, as we could not risk going out, the stores had no deliveries, there was online ques for hours. Then if we went out, the worry was other people not keeping to the restrictions of 2 metres apart. We did manage to get a kind neighbour to do some shopping for us, then managed to get help from a local charity group to pick up our asda shop. 

If one thing positive come from this virus, is it has also brought people together. 

People are showing respect to keep a good distance apart if they do need to leave the house. People are helping each other like collecting medicines and food for the elderly and vulnerable. Personally we had a nice lady down the road help us get food. One negative of moving is that we do not have people round the corner we know to help. Nevertheless our community has been great here. 

Communities are coming together to support each other, calling and check up on everyone. Lucky in this generations we have technology and facetime to keep us in contact with our loved ones. Children are painting rainbow and pictures in their windows to show appreciation for those NHS and key workers. There is door step claps every weeks for those putting their lives at risk working and fighting for us all. 

Family and parents are sharing idea on social media to help each other with educational or fun ideas to keep the children busy during this confusing and frustrating time. Where they now have no school, no routine, having to be home taught. On top of this they could not see their friend or family. It a very confusing and difficult time for us all, especially those children who whole lives have been turnt upside down. They are scared and worried about things us adults struggle to manage.

I want everyone to know we are all here for each other, stay safe, stay home and look after each other. Here to talk if anyone needs feel free to message, comment find us on Instagram. 

Let's use this time wisly to reflect on our lives, the greed and selfishness of this world, then the beauty it holds and everything wee should appreciate. To cherish the time we get to spend as a family. Make our kids proud, let fight this and make the future a better place for the next generation. 

(Written in April 2020)

5 months development

 

Can't believe she is 5 months.

So Ariyah-mai was 5 months on the 16th off march but with moving and the everything being so busy I have not update you all on how she is doing.

In the last few weeks she has just all of a sudden just seems so big, no longer our tiny premmy baby. It was like a switch she was still our tiny baby to now just being so grown up.

With all the packing and moving I feel as though a few things got lost in the moment. We were busy and she had been so unsettled. However since moving it has done wonders for us all. She is calmer, not as fussy and much happier. Don't get me wrong she has her moments as do all babies. But we have seen a real difference in her.

In our old flat she had never really been settled. We traveled so much and we were away from home a lot so I do not think she truly felt at home there. Because of the damp we were all in one room so we tryed to be else where as much as possible. But this did not help ariyah or us get into a routine. She was theething and not sleeping. She was crying all the time. Very fussy and still very sick from her reflux.

She suffered with her reflux and this cold and cough for ages.

Well since moving she still has a cold but it is so much better, these were very scary moments where she be coughing and choking. Or heavy breath and struggling because she was so bunged up. We have not had any thing like this at all. She is sniffy but that is all. Her breathing is soo much better.

Feeding/reflux

With her reflux she is still stuffing so we have re started her medication again, which is helping to settle it. We just go though lots of musys and bibs. Sometime serval cloth changed for her as well as ourselves.

She also wanting more milk and is a very hungry baby. She is now taking 7oz every 3/4 hours. So around 5/6 with in a day. Sometimes she only drink 5/6 oz and then at night she will have the extra later on. We never been in much of a routine with her milk because of many reasons. Her reflux has limited how much milk, in one go she has been able to handle, meaning she was drink little and often like a newborn for alot longer. Then she would go though days where she wanted more normally meaning she having a growth spurt. However with her cold she also then struggled and have days were she hardly drink. One week she was really bad and hardly drunk at all, was still having wet nappies. She did end up in a&e again due to this they said she had a sore throat and a respiratory viral infection. So lots of TLC, cold water and little and often of her milk she was soon back to normal.

So if your baby is not really in a routine, or some days drinking more then others try not to worry too much, they put all these guidelines out of how much they should have at what age, however every baby is different. You know them best! If they are gaining weight, healthy and happy, still having plenty of wet or dirty nappies you know they are on the right track. In spite of that do not be afraid to seek help and advice from other parents or health professionals.

Weaning. 

We started to wean Ariyah-mai early, due to her reflux and that she was a very hungry baby. At 13 weeks, just over three months we gave her baby rice, mixed with her precription milk. Then gave her some rucks again mix with her milk. At about 4 months she was then holding and sucking on rusk with support from us.

Around 4 1/2 months she started trying to grab food off us. If anyone was holding her whilst eating she would try grab it and bring it to her month. She was wanting more milk more often but not stomaching it due to her being sick. She grabbed a sausage roll from her nanny. (obviously we did not let her have it) then bannan off her cousin which we then did mash up and let her try.

We planned to stream and blend veg for her firstly then mix in fruit however due to moving, her wanting food and not having a blender yet, we brought some Ella kitchen pouches,

First just plain carrot or bannan ones and she loved them.

On the 8th so just under 5 months we went out to eat with a friend. That afternoon  Nanny Tina had made roast so she blended up some carrots, peas and broccoli which we took with us. Ariyah-mai sat in a high chair for the first time and ate blender veg dinner. We were not ready for how grown up she was getting.

Now that we have moved and settled, we have brought a baby blender and a hight chair for her. She loves sitting in it and eating, We give her two meals breakfast and dinner with a snack in the middle of day. She has rusks or porriage for breakfast then Ella kitchen pouch or blended veg for dinner. She also really like cucumber which we recently been giving her as finger food that she holds herself. We have started giving her things a bit thicker or finger food to chrow on, which helps with her teeth.

Her favourite are:

• Sweet potato 
• Cucumber
• Carrot
• Peaches 
• Parnip
• Prunes
•  apple 

She does not seem to like (but will keep trying) 

• Peas
• Brocoli 
• Mash
• Strawberries
• Banana 

Teeth

Ariyah-mai NOW has 2 Teeth.

As you can see in this photo her two front teeth are starting to come in. This was following some very difficult nights and days, she has suffered with theething since 7/8 weeks old where they were moving. Some babies do not feel this and won't know untill the teeth are cutting, but not Ariyah. However finally her teeth are cutting through so hopeful she may have a break soon. Although it does seem that way as she has more on the sides too.

With Ariyah nothing really helps, we tried the gel, we have Addison and parsons one which has a brush bit on the end that helps brush the gel into her gums. Then the powder. While they may help a little it does not last long at all, so the only thing that helps is calpol. Meanwhile we try not to give this straight away. Instead giving her calpol at night to settle her to sleep better.

She does not take to teethers, we have tried all different ones but prefers her hands. We tried the Mitton teethers which go on their hands however she does not like them and will shake her hand and pull them off, or shout until we take it off. Whem she was young she could not hold any in her month so we had to. Now she can hold them but does not really like them, she chrows hhe hands or musy.

Now she is eating we try to use cold food like cucumber or rusks for her to chow instead. It is hard to see your baby in pain and know there is nothing we can do to help her.

As a positive note she has now realised that her teeth help to bite and chrow food, which is great when we are giving her bite melts, waffer or soft fruits.

Sleep. 

Ariyah-mai has never been great at sleeping. There was a week or so that she was sleeping though the night on a few occasions, although this did not happen very often. She got to big for her moses basket and kept waking herself up because she was tossing and turing thus hitting the sides. Since moving she now sleeps in her cot. That first night in her cot was a big moment. She still looked so tiny in there but slept very well. She doesn't really like napping in there but it is still very new.

Since moving we have been trying to get into a routine. As we never had one and also been so busy, we travelled alot with me having surgery. But now we in our new house and got more time to spend together. We been setting nap and bed time routine.

I will do more of a post about our routine in another post.

But ariyah having trouble sleeping and napping at the moment. It could be a result of being in a new home, different environment. But we working on it.

Milestones 

As I stated at the beginning ariyah has just suddenly grown up. She reached many new milestones, and got some first now.

First night and sleeping in her cot.
First teeth
Rolled over from back to belly.
First holding own food
Drinking water from a sippy cup.
First laugh
Sitting unaided
Holding her bottle herself.
Grasping and shaking toys, or pulling toys
Realises cause and effect.
First time in the garden feeling the grass

So now ariyah can roll all she does is roll over, she wants to crawl so much and be on the move but is not quite there yet. She uses her head to shuffle forward. She has the moments with her legs to push however not got the coordination to move her arms at the same time. But she can roll and turn herself or shuffle to where she wants to reach her toys.

She can sit unaided for quite a while now and starting to push herself and balance when she falls/leans. If she does fall to the side (obviously we are sat with her) she catches herself with her arms and rolls onto her tummy.

But most of all she loves to stand, she will step if we hold her hands, she stands playing at the play table and will hold on to the sofa or things when stood up. We put her in the walker and jumperoo however she is still alittle to small so can not move herself in the walker yet. But loves standing in it as we move her around and she steps. She laugh so much, to the fact this was the first time we got a real belly laugh from her.

She has a very cheeky and playful sense of humor. She will laugh if we tell cats off, or if we messs around with her. Like do not throw that toy, she laugh and does it. She also loves to but held in the air and tiggled. She very rough play kinda girl which we are so glad about.

She loves nosey musical toys, anything that rattles or she can bang. There are a few that are her favourite hangy toys on her play at. That eirther rattle or have sensory textured materials. She likes her playmat with the keyboard that she kicks, but now she can sit up she also likes to sit and play it. She also really likes teddies, as she a very cuddly baby. So will cuddle teddies and her rainbow knitted blanket.

Other things she enjoys is sensory play, foil blanket, bubble and glow stitches are her favourite. She bangs the glow stitch together and waves them around. She loves the ball pit, sensory and rattle balls. So anything nosey, that lights up or feels good.

Water is another favourite she really loved when we first took her swimming, even dunked her under and she was not fazed at all. She loves slashing and will slash and laugh in the bath. We started putting toys and glow sticks in there and she will try grabbing for them. Can't wait to be able to take her swimming again, or get the paddling pool out.

We started reading more with her too as she taking interest in holding and looking at books, again she likes the sensory touch ones.

She also loves the cats, hayes will come to cuddle her, she actually sits and strokes him really gentle, even if she grabs he is so calm with her. She will watch them walking arounnd and try crawl after them. Cats or pets are great motivations for babies to crawl after. I know as she grows they are going to be best friends.

She does not like nursery rhymes or lullabies other then you are my sun shine, which is the only thing that really calms her. She will fall asleep as we sing it to her.

She just seems so grown up now, getting her own personality, she makes it very clear what's she wants, as she will talk and makes very clear happy or frustrated noises. She will put her arms up when she
wants to be picked up, or push us when she wants to be put down. she will grab our face and cuddle in to us. She even started giving us kiss now too.

Advice to others.
You know best as a parent. We found health professionals did not really heelp tbh, our health visit never answered our Gp were not pediatricians so they told us to talk to our health visit, she said to talk to gp or go to the clinic. At the clinic they just weighted ariyah and again if we asked about things we weren't given very good or clear advice. We got her weighted every every two weeks due to her reflux andd her prematurity. But sshe was slowing gaining, thus we knew she was healthy. We took other parents advice and help from family who had all had there own children. Those parents living it or raised babies normally know better. You as a parent know your baby better. So sick to your gut. We did and glad we did.

If baby is not in a routine, sleeping or feeding do not worry to much. They will soon find their own. All babies are different so do not compare yours with anyone else's. Ariyah is advance in some areas but not others. She not as coodniated with her arms and still struggles to grasp things orr move toys between her hands. But had really strong legs to help her stand aand step. All abies develop at their own pace and will get there when they are ready.

Phtots of Ariyah and her millstones.

(Written in April 2020)